The Autodidact

High School. It happened so fast; I looked away, and then I had kids in High School. This is a point at which many home educators, for a variety of reasons, enroll their kids in a traditional school. And I considered it, too. The weight would be off my shoulders! I could concentrate on my younger kids! Think of all the money I could save on curriculum! But then I would have to accommodate an outside entity's schedule. The younger kids would  no longer see their older siblings. There would be expenses with a child in school, just different ones than we were used to. So, to me, it just was not worth it. I had already invested 8 or 9 years in their education, all or most of it leading up to their final four years, and I was not willing to just hand that all over to someone else to finish. I guess I can be stubborn that way, wanting to finish what I started. And it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. As I stated in an earlier post about  the middle school years  by ...

Saturday morning. It's been a long week, full of caring for sick people, on top of the usual busyness, and I'm sleeping in. I hear a door open, and the 2 year old's feet making their way to our room. She skips across the room and crawls in bed, always on my side, even though Daddy's side is closer. She snuggles under the covers, moves the pillows to suit her, nestling into her spot, pressing her little body close to mine. Her sweet smell, her soft skin, her quiet breathing; I soak it all in. Her little hand reaches over to my face, and caresses me. My cheeks and chin, eyebrows and lips; she giggles softly, taking joy in the closeness. She and I have a whispered conversation about anything and nothing. It doesn't matter. She looks deeply in my eyes and makes a face at me, then closes her eyes and sighs. I roll over toward her Daddy, and my hand finds his immediately, and he holds on. And she is enclosed in a nest, between her Mommy and Daddy, enclosed in a picture of...

Here's a simple meal for a busy day, or a day when you are not feeling up to cooking, or, if you are like me, lost in a really good book. You need a crock pot, a boneless pork roast and barbecue sauce. If the roast is frozen, no problem, just get it cooking in the morning on high. But if it's thawed or partially thawed, getting it going by noon is good enough. Put the roast in the pot, turn it on high, add about 2 cups barbecue sauce and cover. Don't give it another thought until dinner. If you want to make your own sauce, this is an easy recipe using items that are found in most pantries: 1 1/2 cups brown sugar (sometimes I use 1/2 cup molasses and 2 teaspoons stevia instead) 1 1/4 cups ketchup (I use the kind with no HFCS, or a small can of tomato paste and add more sugar) 1/3 cup red wine vinegar (apple cider vinegar is OK too) 1 Tablespoon Worcestershire sauce 2 1/2 teaspoons mustard powder 2 teaspoons paprika 1 1/2 teaspoons salt 1 teaspoon black pep...

Once you announce you are going to home educate your kids, you may be asked if homeschooling really works. Many people out there have never met a homeschooling family; They have never spent time with young children who are thriving in a homeschool environment; they have never met a teenager who has spent his whole life being educated at home. The folks who are questioning your decision, then, may be simply asking out of curiosity or ignorance, but sometimes out of fear or suspicion. I used to cringe when asked this question when the kids were really young. I remember being questioned by my husband's family; all of them asking me if we really knew what we were doing, and if it was going to work out, and weren't we sheltering our kids too much? I knew that they were motivated by love and concern; my husband's family is a close knit Italian clan that values family ties dearly. I knew they meant no harm, but I still couldn't help feeling stupid and unsure about homeschool...

Ever see a mom out in public with small children who are running wild? Mom is helplessly on the sidelines, weakly calling out to her little offspring to stop and please come here. Then, putting a bit of authority in her voice she calls to him, but when that won't work, she starts to plead with little junior. And all the while he is happily running away from her and telling her 'no' and 'one more time, OK' or just ignoring her. Then she sighs and gives up and tries to justify her child's behavior with one excuse or another. I find this painful to watch, because I do feel sorry for the mom who just can't seem to get a grip on things; but I feel sorry for the kid as well. The mom is clearly miserable and the child seems to be having fun, but I doubt it, because he knows no one is really in charge, except maybe himself, and that scares him. Even scarier is the fact that most kids are better behaved in public than they are at home; at least this has been my e...

I've hit the sweet spot, I think. Lately I have noticed that I have more time and energy. I wondered about it for a while, thinking that maybe there was something I should be doing and forgot (I am getting older and forgetful, you know). I realized that for the first time in 19 years, I am not pregnant (one out of 8 pregnancies was tolerable) or nursing (it was a joy, but exhausting), or changing diapers and trying to keep up with a toddler. But more than that, while I do have teenagers that are going through the usual growing pains (and it can be painful) I have sweet little ones. During a typical day, I am snuggling the 2 and 5 year-olds, reading stories, teaching the 8 and 11 year-olds, witnessing the drama in the 14 year-old's life, talking late into the night with the 17 and 18 year-olds. Playing and laughing, discovering the wonder of the world around us, learning how to calm turbulent emotions, struggling with life's big questions; it's all going on under one ...

If you are avoiding wheat and dairy, or if you just want a slightly more healthful brownie experience, this might help. Combine in a food processor: 1 can black beans, drained and rinsed 3 eggs 1 cup sugar (I used half brown sugar and half sucanat) 1/2 cup coconut oil 2 teaspoons vanilla 1/3 cup cocoa powder Process until smooth. You will have to scrape the sides and bottom of the processor to make sure the beans are all smooth. When done, add 1/3 cup chocolate chips and pulse a couple of times. Pour into a greased 8x8 pan. Press into the batter a handful of chocolate chips and a handful of chopped nuts. Bake at 350 for 40 minutes. A knife, inserted into the brownies should come out clean, but they will still feel soft. They are like the store-bought-in-a-box kind: moist and rich. The recipe said to store in the fridge, and they are good cold as well as warm. I could not tell that there was no wheat or dairy in them, nor could the kids. Enjoy!

Something has been bothering me lately about Valentine's Day. And it's not because my husband and I never go out on that day for a date. (I'd rather not try to elbow my way into a restaurant past all the other couples celebrating the holiday, anyway).  No, it's that the day has become all about romantic love; it's become almost raunchy. No, it is raunchy. This is the BIG holiday for stores such as Ambiance: The Store for Lovers. Ads on the radio and in print would have us think that the day is all about sexy lingerie, and other things that "can't be mentioned." And, should you find yourself unexpectedly pregnant (from your steamy Valentine's Day celebrations), Planned Parenthood thinks that access to safe and legal abortions make a great Valentine's gift. (Don't believe me? Check this  out). Give me a break. Give me a break from this perversity! Talk about a holiday that's been hijacked. At least Santa Clause brings presents to child...

The potato. And I'm not just saying that because I'm Irish. I used to think that potatoes were only a side dish, but then I realized what a frugal meal they can make. It's a great food, loaded with nutrition as well as comfort. So, here's a simple, inexpensive dinner idea. Rub the clean skins with a bit of olive oil and salt and garlic powder, place on a cookie sheet (so the oil won't get all over the bottom of your oven) and bake at 400 degrees for about 45 minutes to an hour or until cooked through. Set out a bunch of toppings: leftover chili, Greek yogurt, butter, chives and parsley, guacamole, salsa, cheese or anything that looks like it would be yummy on a potato. Let the family load up their own potatoes and dinner is served!

Ten years ago today, we buried my dad on a hill that overlooks the rolling countryside. It was a sunny, cold and muddy day. His suffering over, he was laid to rest after being ravaged by dementia. It was so hard to remember him whole and well. I think about him often. When I watch my husband fix something, I remember all the times I watched my dad fix things. When I talk to my brother on the phone, I hear my dad. When my oldest son talks or moves his hands a certain way, or uses his dry wit on us, I see my dad. When I look at my middle son's artwork or his experiments, I see my dad. When my youngest son gives me a devilish grin and sweet talks me into something, I see my dad. The mantle clock that he faithfully wound every Saturday night sits on my mantle, and the chimes remind me of him. Whenever I crack a corny joke, I feel I am paying him a tribute. The memories of his sickness have faded, and I can see him as he was: tall, handsome, strong, intelligent and talented. And fun...

Submission.  So many people don't like that word. When we hear that word, we think doormat, pushover, second-rate or other negative words. It has a bad rap. Women, especially, bristle at the word and hate to think of themselves as submitting to their husbands. Men are afraid to bring it up for fear of offending their wives or getting hit over the head. We've come a long way baby, and all that, right? Why do we need to submit to our husbands? We aren't doormats or pushovers. And let's face it, ladies, we are capable, we are good at being in charge; we can multitask, and assess a situation and quickly make a decision. We can do it all! But that doesn't mean we should. Look what happened in the garden: Eve was deceived, made a snap decision, and then told her husband what to do. And it ended in disaster. I wonder what Adam would have done if approached by the serpent first? Probably said he'd think it over, gone home and made a flow chart, worked up some compar...

Something I was asked recently was how in the world do I get all the housework and shopping and other housewifely duties done while home educating the kids. How in the world, indeed! I had to think about it, and I gave a rather short answer that may or may not have been helpful. But for the rest of the day, I thought about it, and took note of the things I was doing during the day. How do I get it all done? Well, I don't. In the literal sense, I don't do it all because I make the kids do a lot of house work, and truthfully, I just let the rest go. I used to be called Katie the Cleaning Lady after the character in the Pine Sol ads. I never used Pine Sol, but I used to wield a mighty cleaning rag and vacuum cleaner. Not any more. Now, I'm on survival mode. I keep the kitchen fairly clean and organized, with the kids' help. Bathrooms get cleaned when someone gets grossed out (usually me), or if company is coming, and the sheets on the beds get washed fairly often (alth...

When my husband and I were engaged, we discussed many topics: how many kids we wanted, what would our household budget look like, where to go to church, and if I would work or stay home. Yes, you read that last one right. We weren't going to have kids right away, and so it would seem like a no-brainer  that I would work until we started having kids, and so the question would be where to work, not if to work. That's what most of my peers were doing, but I wanted out. Out of the working world, where women can be vicious back-stabbers and gossips, or just silly, and men either patronize you or sell you short, or just do not know how to treat you. Out of someone else's schedule and demands and agenda. Out of the working world, where I would have to work not only for someone else, but work for my husband as well, keeping house and cooking. We both agreed that my staying home from the start was something we both wanted; I was thrilled and my then-finance was relieved to kno...