Memorial for Mattis
Dear Mom,
Remember when we first met? I was a scrappy little guy, recently released from a really noisy place and taken in by a young man and woman. I remember the first time we met- the couple brought me to your house. I knew there was something about you, and I think you felt it too. I knew that the young man was dear to you, and you to him, so I figured you were alright. I loved visiting your house, especially when I got to do sleep overs! The treats and extra portions of food and walks and sleeping on your bed were awesome.
But life got weird and confusing. The young woman was gone a lot. Then the young man left for a really long time. Then another dog came to live with me. He was kind of a bully but I put up with him. When we both came over to your house, I always knew I was your favorite. I tried to look for the young man and managed to climb out their windows at least once, and I opened their front door by myself, but I could not find him.
Your backyard was amazing! It was all mine and I loved to laze in the yard in the sun as long as I wanted. Well, anyway, life continued to be confusing. The young man came back finally, but then inexplicably left soon after. Then the young woman left and I went somewhere else to live. It was ok, and the people were really nice to me, but I got the feeling that one of them was not a dog person, if you know what I mean. But through it all, you were always there in the back of my mind.
Well, then, the young man came to get me from there, and we went to your house! I hadn't seen you in a while so I was out of sorts for a bit. But I heard a lot of talk about "this is forever" and "you are staying here with us, buddy." And you meant it. And that was all I needed. Just to be with you. You were my buddy all the time. I did not like to lose sight of you, so that's why I followed you everywhere. Sorry about the window screens, but I just felt safer with you.
I loved our walks in the park every day- the wildflower garden had the best smells. And car rides! Remember how I would ride in the car with you every day to take the kids to swim practice in the summer? Two car rides a day- that was awesome. Your bed was the best place to sleep, second only to the really comfy fluffy bed you put in your room. Remember those walks at the end of the day? I really only went on those to get the treat I knew was waiting for me when we got back home. Christmas was so fun too- I always got a new toy and you knew just what I would like. Lots of people would come over for a party and I loved all the attention.
Home. I was really and truly home for good. And the young man would come visit often and I was always so glad to see him. I loved it whenever anyone came to visit- everyone wanted to pet me. The neighbors were so kind and gave me lots of love and treats and attention. You let me have the pick of the furniture and I really enjoyed that. Remember how I would always join you all in the family room when you were watching TV? I loved it when you would get on the floor in your room to stretch and do exercises. I did my best to encourage you and I hope you get all better. I'm sorry I won't get to see that. I always just wanted to be with you, and you were around a lot. You were my world.
My life was good. But lately I had started to feel poorly. My back legs were not working well and I had trouble breathing at times. The vet said I was sick with something but that it wouldn't be painful. That therapy place you took me to was wild! I did the acupuncture because you said it would help, and I think it did. But there was something else wrong, mommy. My tummy was not feeling good. I'm so sorry for throwing up on the carpet. It would come on so suddenly. But I was always careful to make it to the yard to poop. Food just didn't taste right, and it wasn't anything about your cooking. I mean, who can beat steak, roast beef, roast chicken and lamb?? But when something stopped tasting good, you'd switch it up for me, and I did appreciate it.
But I knew that something was not right. You knew it too. You tried everything you and the vet could think of, but I just could not eat. I usually ate because I figured it would please you. That last week or two at your place was rough. I felt miserable most of the time. Remember that last day or two, though? I felt ok. I pestered you to let me go see my neighbor who always gave me treats. She was out that last day and she and the man that lives there too both gave me treats and petted me ever so much. That was a good day. You and I had a good walk and I, as always, hung out with you as you did your stretches on the bedroom floor.
But the next day, I knew it was time to say goodbye. I simply could not do it anymore. One more visit to my vet, sweet man, and you and dad were crying. I could not comfort you- I did not have the energy. The doc took me to this weird machine and took some pictures of me- I am always being photographed! He saw what he was looking for. He gave a me a shot to help my tummy, and you and Dad and the vet talked. I was so relieved to see you both. I went home with you and Dad and he laid me in my favorite spot so gently.
It was so kind of Dad to take me out to see if I needed to pee, but I couldn't. You let me sun myself a bit because you know how much a Carolina Dog loves the sun.
But I was getting cold and Dad gently put me back inside. My legs were not working anymore, and they were especially cold. I was so glad all of you could be with me. All the petting and kisses and snuggles felt so good to me.
That nice lady that came to the house was so kind and gentle. I'm so sorry I could not comfort you anymore, but I needed to go. The last thing I heard you say, mommy, was "Good boy, Mattis, you are such a good boy." It was a good life.
-Mattis
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