The Autodidact

Lately, I have been reading about home schoolers who have been challenged/ridiculed/accosted about their decision to home educate. Family members, folks at church, neighbors and friends weigh in and express their disdain/low opinion/hostility to certain home educators. Without being asked. I have to say, that, other than a few well-meaning and concerned family members who spoke to us as we were beginning our journey, and a neighbor who once told me of someone that was alarmed I may be teaching my kids that creation is true and evolution is not, I have never been put under the microscope and scrutinized. No one has ever suggested I put my kids in public school. No one has ever said my kids need more socialization. No one has ever made me feel as though I was a traitor to my local school system or that I was doing something wrong. Now, I am sure there have been people who shook their heads and wondered if we knew what we were doing. Perhaps they still do. And I am sure I have friends...

Recently I had a brief conversation via email (as much as you can have a "conversation" that way) with a mom of young kids. She writes for the local paper and her latest piece caught my eye. Long story short, she has ruled out a third child because she has a boy and a girl, and it's expensive enough with just two. So I wrote to her with another perspective  (my own, of course) to start a conversation. She was polite and brief, and said she likes being a mom, but really likes working outside the home to be herself; the person she was before kids came along. And it hit me; that's the draw for so many women. The allure of working outside the home; the promise that you can be yourself- the self you were before kids. As if there is something wrong with you or lacking because now you have kids. As if somehow you are not good enough now you are a mom; you have to have this other job to be good enough, to be complete. I just have to be the woman I was pre-kiddos to be hap...

I saw her across the pool, sitting alone. For many years she and I have sat poolside while our kids took swim lessons, but I have never spoken to her. But today. About three months ago she lost her 16 year old daughter in a car accident, and it was all over the local news. My heart was heavy for her at the time, and then, life moved on for me and I forgot. But today. Last night, in Bible study we talked about keeping community with other believers, shoulder to shoulder, but also discussed the importance of looking outward at world. I and thought, that's great, but what can I do? I am swamped with the daily tasks of housework and family life; how can I look outward, when looking inward, all I see in insurmountable hills and chaos? I need that looking inward at other believers, to keep me on the straight and narrow, to keep me sane. But today. Today, I could no longer be quiet. I could no longer not talk to her. God just wouldn't leave me alone. And as I walked all th...

These kids...

Too many times I meet or read about moms who are completely overwhelmed by motherhood. The excitement over their new baby has waned into a life of seemingly never ending days of nursing-holding-rocking-changing diapers-trying to get a shower. They get lost in caring for a new child, and then the child turns one, two, and they are still enmeshed in seemingly never ending days of diapers-potty training-feeding-cleaning messes-laundry-playing with and entertaining their child and still trying to get a shower. It's not hard to slip into this. I had days like that. Sometimes I still do. But back when all I had was 2 kids, and both in diapers (which is not double the work, it's more like quadruple), I struggled to manage and serve my kids and house and husband. And sometimes those became idols. How clever of the Evil One. While he rejoices over our idol worship, I believe he takes extra pleasure when moms succumb to it and put their children/husband/housework above God. He takes ...

In my state of Ohio, we can turn in the results of a standardized test or have our students' work assessed. Sometimes I give the Iowas, but most often have a certified teacher give the assessment. Our former assessor retired and I had to find a new one, and asked a neighbor who happens to be certified. I mentioned this situation on a Facebook forum page that deals with everything-homeschooling-and-then-some. The tongue lashing I received was surprising, and a bit disturbing. "I wouldn't let him within 100 feet of my child." "Sounds like a disaster waiting to happen." "Conflict of interest." "It's never helpful to have a public school teacher look at a homeschool." "They just don't understand our way of life." I am passionate about homeschooling and I do not take for granted the hard won right to do it. Nor am I willing to give up any of my rights. There are educational elites who would love to see homescho...

As if homeschooling weren't daunting enough, having pre-school age kids in the mix can complicate things. They need their diaper changed or help on the potty right in the middle of Algebra. They need to be nursed or fed a snack as you are reading out loud about the Declaration of Independence.They fight, they fall down and get hurt, they want your attention, and they get into things. As much as we moms would like our school day to be an uninterrupted block of time, where we get through all the subjects seamlessly and finish all we had planned for the day, it does not happen that frequently when we have little ones. And it shouldn't. To expect our little ones to sit placidly while we are doing important stuff with the older kids is unrealistic, and we need to stop pressuring ourselves and our kids to conform to this model. That's not to say we shouldn't strive for order and regularity and a dependable schedule in our homes. We should. But at the same time, we need to...

I have a little boy who loves his daddy. He looks for him first thing in the morning. If daddy is in bed, my little boy gets in bed. If he is reading the newspaper, my little boy climbs into the chair with his daddy. Wherever his daddy is, my little boy wants to be with him. When it's time for daddy to go to work, my little boy has to hug him and wave goodbye. Throughout the day, my little boy asks about daddy: "Why does he have to work?" "When will he be home?" "Will he be home for dinner?" "Is tomorrow the weekend, when daddy can stay home?" He talks about his daddy several times a day. When daddy comes home at night, my little boy's face lights up and he is the one who greets daddy the loudest. He sticks close to daddy and asks him questions and tells him about his own adventures and gets out a game that they can play after dinner. At bedtime, my little boy wants daddy to read a story to him and snuggle in bed. My little boy's worl...

It's the first of June already and I spent the entire month of May looking back over my shoulder at winter. This year, winter left me feeling cold and gray well into April and I wasn't sure it was finally over until the early lilacs bloomed. Now the peonies and late lilacs are spilling their fragrance into the air, seeping into the house; every breeze brings their aromas inside. I wasted May fleeing winter and not enjoying it for fear of more cold weather, and now it's over and I feel I lost a month. But it's June and the pool opens soon, and there will be trips to the ice cream stand, and running through the sprinkler, and long afternoons spent under shady trees on a blanket. Winters can seem endless here on the North Coast and the older I get, the longer and harder they become. But it's June and there will be homemade popsicles, and dinners on the patio, and whiling away the time in the backyard. This winter I felt bereft of something I couldn't name, fe...