On Hold No More

Recently, I spent 2 hours on the phone with AT&T's customer service department. I use the term 'service' lightly, and I would use a more descriptive term but for the chance that children may read this. I am done wasting hours of my life dealing with AT&T as I have switched carriers, but I got to thinking about time, and wasting it, and having a lot of time to waste. In particular, our prison population has a lot of time to waste. What if, instead of stamping out license plates 8 hours a day, prisoners were required to spend that time on the phone with AT&T, listening to horrible music while on hold? We could see a reduction in crime of monumental proportions! What if, instead of picking up trash on the side of the road, minor offenders had to devote some of their time trying to talk to someone on the phone whose primary language is not English and who cannot hear well? They would think twice before shoplifting! What if we punished dead beat dads with hours of time on the phone in an endless cycle of being passed off to one person after another and getting nowhere? They might start paying their alimony, and then some! Since AT&T can't service their customers properly, we could use it to benefit society in some other way- as a crime deterrent. I may even start threatening my kids with this punishment and see what happens.