The Autodidact

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year From the Marinos! Alas, another year has passed; we hope this finds all of you well and at peace. A few notes about the family: Ellie, 7, is asking deep, theological and philosophical questions- usually as she is dropping off to sleep, leaving me wide awake, pondering. She rocked the missing front teeth thing with such style. She is such a sweet snuggler and keeps me feeling young-ish. Natty, 10, swam this summer, builds extravagantly with Legos, reads voraciously, and is destined to wear a green uniform someday. He had his adenoids removed and came down with strep throat all at the same time, which meant a week of video games with his older brothers. Edith, 13, seeks after God earnestly, quietly observes everything, swam for the summer, and delves into a wide variety of music genres. She's serious and thoughtful, and could easily cut you with her razor-sharp wit. She and Ellie have a very sweet sister bond, an

This year I will have been married to my dearest friend for 26 years. Usually, the anniversaries that get more attention are the ones that are factors of 5's and 10's. But this one, 26, is also special to me. I have been married exactly half of my life. I'm not sure why, but it struck me as significant to have been married half of my time on this earth. And so, to mark this auspicious anniversary, I give you, in no special order, 26 items that have contributed to an enduring marriage. 1. Laugh. Laugh at yourself, with each other. Laugh at each other when appropriate. Laugh at the end of your arguments, because most of them are silly anyway. 2. Study. Study your husband. What does he like? What are his dreams? What makes him feel loved?(these must be exploited!) What are his fears and insecurities? (these must never be exploited.) 3. Cook. Cook his favorites (if his mom is still around, ask her for ideas). But cook new things for him, too. Cook nutritious, hearty f

Years ago, when all we had were small children, a backyard game of baseball was a common occurrence. Hubs would do much of the pitching when he was home in the evenings, and sometimes the kids would play during the day without him. A bare patch of grass predictably sprung up where home plate was positioned. Grass did not grow there for years. It was kind of ugly, and it was directly off the patio, so it was clearly visible at all times. I accepted this as just a part of being a parent, and looked forward to grass eventually growing in. Years went by, and baseball was not as popular with the next batch of kids as it had been with the first. The older ones had jobs and friends and activities. The grass grew back in thick and lush. The 9 year old loves ball, and hubs would take the kids to the park to hit a few. I'm not sure why the change in location; we've lived in the same house all along, and the park has always been there. But the 21 year old moved out a year ago and come

Some recent conversations, both in person and online, and a couple of books on education, both secular and faith-based, have got me thinking deeply. Why do I keep my kids out of school? These books and conversations made me realize I have become a bit complacent about my convictions. I asked my kids old and young alike if they knew why they were/are home educated. The oldest was able to articulate some, but even then, she was not quite sure. She, being almost 23, can see the benefits and can see that she is better educated than her peers. But as to her parents' reasons, she could not say much other than we did it for religious reasons, which are correct, but that was as specific as she could get. The next oldest, 21 also figured it out on his own but was more specific. He believes we took the Biblical commands to teach our children in the way they should go and to teach them when we rise up, literally. He correctly assumed that we believe teaching our children was our responsib

The last few months have been full of ruined plans, emptiness and frustration, to the point where I just don't plan anything anymore. Long story, and it's not the point here anyway. But the Master Planner really pulled one off this week. The 9 yr old had his adenoids out (OK, that was planned) and I had arranged for my older adult kids to help out around the house while my husband and I were away for several hours. We left the house at 8:10 and the 21 year old arrived moments later. He plugged in his music to our stereo, cranked it, and proceeded to cook a big breakfast of pancakes, sausage and bacon. The kids awoke to a shaking house and delicious smells. Then he cleaned up the kitchen and helped his 6 year old sister with her math, while the rest of the kids did their schoolwork. The 23 year old arrived later and settled in to wait to snuggle her baby brother. We got to the house to find the 15 year old cooking a lovely soup with the assistance of his 18 and 12 year o

The days pass so quickly here at home. It seems I was just starting out with my oldest three kids just a couple of years ago, instead of being some 17 years into this journey of parenthood. In an earlier  post  I discussed my distaste for the word "homeschooling" and so I may slip into it from time to time, for lack of a better word, or to be clearer to those reading this who are new to this way of life. But really, all I am doing is being a mom. And for all its trials and messes and bad days, there are so many moments that I treasure up in my heart and mind, and, occasionally, on my camera. I love catching the kids doing mundane things.  Average things. Quiet things. On their own, just being themselves. The 6 year old reading her Calvin and Hobbes before getting up for a late breakfast. The 9 year old reading a book or building with Legos in his room. The 12 year old reading her Bible or listening to music and knitting, or playing dolls with her little sister. The 15

Kids ask so many questions. Usually when I have not had a full cup of coffee or while I am reading the paper or doing chores. I so quickly forget that my kids ARE my primary job, until they start hammering me with their questions. And they aren't simple, easy ones, like "what's for dinner?"(look at the menu, please) or "have you seen my shoes?" (right where you left them, I would imagine). No, they're hard questions like "why does God let Satan tempt us?"(Um, let's wait for daddy to get home), or "how was Jesus born one day, but he also made the world long before that?" (let me have some coffee first, sweetie). And their timing is their own. They have a need for knowledge, and they ask for it immediately, rather than waiting for a good time. Because that's their job. My job is to stop what I am doing, if possible, and answer as best I can. But sometimes they ask a question, and we talk, and a day later I am hit with an epiph

What do you do when you are blindsided by life?  When your world is thrown into chaos and your days are filled with phone calls, appointments and putting out fires? When your heart is broken beyond belief and you simply can't focus on getting through the day? The circumstances are not relevant here- it could be anything. What is relevant is how to pick up the pieces and try to carry on as a homeschooler. Putting the kids in school would seem a good idea at this point, since you are struggling to figure out what's for dinner or how you are going to get to the store. But the more you think about it, you realize that really won't solve anything. It won't heal your heart or restore order to your life. So what do you do? You.just.stop. "Kids, we aren't going to do school for a while, and I'm not sure when we will pick back up." This has been my school year. We have gotten back into a very pared down routine, but I have witnessed the following:

I don't like telling people we homeschool. Huh? Yes, you heard me correctly. A veteran, die-hard, you'd-have-to-pry-the-kids-from-my-cold-dead-hands kind of homeschooler just said that. I just don't like the name. I love what I do, but the name? Well, it turns me off. And I bet it turns a lot of others off too. Folks who might consider it, but are put off by the name. Parents who want something better than what the public school can offer, but can't afford a private school, might do it, but the name scares them off. Parents of pre-school age kids, especially, are pressured to make a decision. Everyone is looking at pre-schools for juuuust the right one. But some moms are not really feeling it, and would love to carry on without interrupting things with pre-school, but worry about their little one missing out or falling behind or not having friends. As if mom isn't enough. So let me put to rest some concerns. If you think your life will change the moment yo