A Manifesto

Some recent conversations, both in person and online, and a couple of books on education, both secular and faith-based, have got me thinking deeply. Why do I keep my kids out of school? These books and conversations made me realize I have become a bit complacent about my convictions.

I asked my kids old and young alike if they knew why they were/are home educated. The oldest was able to articulate some, but even then, she was not quite sure. She, being almost 23, can see the benefits and can see that she is better educated than her peers. But as to her parents' reasons, she could not say much other than we did it for religious reasons, which are correct, but that was as specific as she could get. The next oldest, 21 also figured it out on his own but was more specific. He believes we took the Biblical commands to teach our children in the way they should go and to teach them when we rise up, literally. He correctly assumed that we believe teaching our children was our responsibility, and ours alone. The rest of the kids, shrugged their shoulders, except the 6 year old, who surmised that I really like having my kids home and that I love to read aloud to them all. And of course, she is correct as well! Smart girl.

In neglecting to relay to my kids my reasons, I feel like I have failed them. I just expected them to know why they were at home, somehow. How could I have assumed that? Why would I assume that? We decided to keep them home more out of instinct than conviction at first; but as the convictions grew, I failed to share them with my kids.

The advantage of having lots of kids is you can learn from your mistakes you make with the first few kids, and correct yourself on the younger ones. For primarily my own benefit, and that of my kids (even the ones who have left home or are done with school), I want to attempt to articulate our reasons for this choice. And if it benefits someone contemplating home education, or a veteran, or someone in between, all the better. This is by no means an exhaustive list- just some of the more important reasons that I have for keeping them at home.

Note: the use of the pronoun "I" in no way excludes my husband from this; it was just easier to use "I" rather than "us" or "we" etc. He is completely and totally as committed to home education as I am and is my staunchest supporter.

1. Parents are responsible for their children's spiritual and academic learning and growth.

While the Bible does not explicitly prohibit or allow our kids to go to school, it does command parents to teach their kids.Since all knowledge and wisdom begins with the fear of the Lord, and parents are commanded to teach their kids, divorcing the fear of the Lord and academics seems at the least counterproductive, and at the most, very confusing to children. I chose to err on the side of caution, and see to their education myself. In Proverbs, we are told more than once that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom/knowledge. If this is true, as I believe it to be, then putting my children in school all day long would get in the way of that. Certainly, a child can be taught the fear of the Lord if he attends school, but then the parent must work around someone else's schedule and agenda to do so. I don't want to waste my child's time. Kids want answers to the big questions in life, and I want them to have ample opportunities to ask and learn. Deuteronomy 11:19 instructs us to teach our children throughout the day. School would interfere with that. Proverbs 22:6 tells parents to teach their children in the way they should go. School would interfere with that too. 

2. It's not good for kids to be around their peers all day long, every day.

Proverbs describes a fool as someone who does not believe in God and someone who despises wisdom and instruction. It also states that folly is bound up in the heart of a child. So, in a average classroom of 30 kids, there are 30 people whose hearts are full of foolishness. If the teacher does not believe in God, and/or despises wisdom and instruction, then the situation looks grim. It's like the blind leading the blind. And even if the teacher is a Christian, she is limited in what she can do to guide all 30 fools in being wise according to Scripture. For now, the only choice in education is public school, or Christian/Private school (which is based on the PS model). Perhaps in a Christian or private school, the dynamics are more conducive to a good education, but I believe it still falls short. Since I can't afford to send the kids to a Christian or Private school, I chose home education.  However, we could have schools that completely break the mold of the PS system- but the powers that be will likely never let that happen. (Other than Montessori schools, which are too few and too expensive, but which I believe we should use as a model). In any case, the current model, enforced by law, is to have kids around their peers way too much. 

3. Keeping kids home is much more natural for both the parent and the child.

The school environment seems wholly unnatural to me, and I suspect it does to many children as well, but they are powerless to change their circumstances, or unable to even articulate why they are frustrated or disillusioned with their lot in life. Kids are meant to move and talk and touch and get dirty and get lost in their imaginations. They want to learn in their own way, at their own pace, when they are ready to learn. Kids are wired with insatiable curiosity and require the time to satisfy that- and most often it takes way more time than a class-time period allows. These children were given to me, to teach them the fear of the Lord, and to teach them in the way they should go. In order to do that, I need to be with them. How can I teach them, if I don't know them really well? How can I know them if I am with them only while rushing them out the door, or when they are tired and grumpy from a long day at school, rushing them through their homework, driving them to their activities and rushing them off to bed? I know my kids because of the time I have spent with them. Quantity time is far more essential than quality time in raising kids and teaching them. This is not to say no one else can teach my kids things- there have been plenty of wonderful folks along the way who have taught my kids a wide variety of skills, and I am thankful to them. But even then, they did so with my permission and knowledge and some oversight.

4. I can do in far less time, effort, and money what the public schools attempt to do.

Home education is far more efficient and effective. It can cost as little as the individual family needs or wants. And really, I don't want to emulate public school anyway. I want my kids to have an education, not mere schooling. We have a very limited time with our kids. They grow up and leave way too quickly. And even if they stick around for a while after graduating, they are living their own lives! Again, I don't want to waste their time. Kids really don't need 12 years of sitting at a desk to learn the academics they need to move on in life. Remember hearing from your parents or grandparents that back in their day, 8th grade was the end of school and they were ready for whatever was next? Ever pick up an 8th grade textbook from 150 years ago and tried to figure out what in the world they were learning? Before compulsory schooling come on the scene, education was delivered far more efficiently and was far more advanced than today's! And we are spending more and more money to keep compulsory school in business. I want my kids to look back on their childhood and recall hours spent on the couch being read to, or reading to themselves. Of afternoons spent creek walking or climbing trees or tinkering. Of elaborate games of pretend- alone or with siblings. Of doing school work in the backyard in the sun and leisurely lunches or afternoon snacks. There's that quantity time again; I want a large quantity of their time spent being children, rather than part of a machine.

5. I want to direct my children's education personally, and enable them to learn on their own so that they own their education.

What, after the fear of the Lord, do I want my kids to learn? Do I want them to learn how to sit still for hours at a time? Stand in line? Raise their hands when they have a question? Lots of seemingly unrelated facts that must be memorized long enough to spit back out on a test, only to be forgotten? Do what they are told unquestioningly, when they are told to do it? Even if I did want those things, I don't think it would take 12 years to accomplish it. I think I'd rather have them learn to read their Bible and fine literature. There are subjects that I think are worth learning, but I also want to impart to them a love of learning that will last their entire lives. I want them to know that the world is their classroom, and as long as they are in this world, they are learning. Discovering music and science and math. Developing their bodies in sports. Working at a job for pay. I want them to see that all knowledge is related! But there is so much more than that. A particular joy of mine has been to observe my children and their hobbies and talents and interests, then help them find ways to develop those passions, ultimately educating themselves and deciding what to do with their lives.

6. I can tailor my kids' education to each of them, making the most of the precious few years I have with them.

My kids are unique learners. Some are primarily auditory. Some are kinesthetic. Some visual or verbal. Some of them are a bit of each, or they vary depending on the subject. So I can tailor my methods to fit the child. I can help them discover how they learn, and what they want to learn more of, to make goals and achieve them. School simply cannot accommodate all learning styles for all children at all times, and the kids that don't fit the mold fall behind, get bored, or are slapped with a learning disability label (and I am sure that more than one of my kids would have been subjected to such labels). I can use the same materials in different ways, depending on the ability and aptitude of each child. I can switch to a completely different curriculum or drop the subject completely to pick up later or perhaps not. I can let them sleep as late (within reason) as they need because they are pretty busy growing. When they are old enough to work independently (and that varies from child to child too) they can decide how and when and in what order to complete what I have laid out for them. And if they finish up early, they have lots of free time to pursue whatever they wish!

6. My baby is right. I really like my kids, and I like being around them, taking life a bit more slowly than the rest of the world does.

I love to hear them making music or having vigorous discussions with each other or simply playing. I love having deep conversations with them over lunch. I do love to read aloud to them, even the high schoolers. They are pretty nice people to be around most of the time. I wanted children because I wanted to be around them, not to surrender them to the state at age 5, for the rest of their childhood.  I purposely made life really simple for them- I wanted them to know how to not rush through life. Sure, there are seasons for being busy, and there should be. But the skill of being alone, perhaps bored, of thinking deeply, choosing to slow down, is an important skill. Long school days, hours of homework, time on the internet and participating in many activities leaves little to no time for a child to develop this skill. It leaves very little time for the child to develop as a whole human being, and I'd like to a part of that as much as possible.

7. I am a rebel at heart.

Sure, most of the time, my rebelliousness has gotten me in trouble. My stubbornness has irritated more than a few folks. So when it came to deciding whether to homeschool or not, I naturally chose to rebel. The state says my kids must go to their school? No thanks. The state says there are hoops to jump through to keep them home? OK. I will obey those laws to the letter and not one bit more. The state thinks that I can't educate my kids? Watch me. You think I don't know what I am doing? Just get out of my way, and we will see. This was an area where I could rebel to my heart's content. These kids have been loaned to me and no one else, and I don't care what the "experts" and educrats and relations or anyone else says. I like to buck the system and beat it at its own game.

8. I am protective.

Having been on the receiving end of a fair amount of bullying, shunning and snubbing, I wanted to protect my kids. Having been shocked at first, then influenced, by the language, attitudes and behaviors of my peers, I wanted to keep my kids from the same experiences. These things do nothing good for a child. Nothing. My job is not to toughen them up for the world, but to prepare them for it, bit by bit, as they seem ready. That's not to say none of my kids have been influenced by the world. They have. For the most part, they were ready for it, comfortable enough with themselves, and not too apt to be swayed by harmful or unhealthy behaviors and attitudes.

Is home education perfect or an iron-clad guarantee of anything good? No way. Nothing in this world is perfect, but I refused to settle for "good enough" and instead reached for something better. Will our kids turn out OK and stay on the straight and narrow if we educate them at home? Maybe. Some of that is up to us parents, and some of it is up to the child. 

Right now, my two oldest are gone, on their own. I see them frequently, but I miss them so much. I love it when they call or stop by and tell me what is going on in their lives. It has been a privilege (not just a duty) to be their mom and learn and live together while they are with me, then enjoying them as adults. Home learning is really just part of being a parent- just part of being a family. I sure don't regret the years I spent with them at home.

Not.one.bit.







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