What Are You Staring At?
Since I injured my back a few months ago, I have relied on my kids a lot for help with housework and grocery shopping. I normally shop alone, undisturbed and undistracted, enjoying a bit of freedom. But starting about 6 weeks ago, when I was finally able to even go to the store, the little ones have tagged along. It's really become the highlight of my week: they load up the cart, unload it at the cash register, bag up the groceries and load up the car and unload it at home. They chatter and ask questions and work happily and diligently, for which they are rewarded with a big snack at home. We talk and laugh, they look at all the food in the cart with joy, we have fun. Without fail, someone stops me and comments on how sweet and well behaved my children are and I simply thank them, not wanting to spoil the moment by revealing they are not always so well-mannered.
But the more this happens, the more I wonder: why are people stopping me in the store and praising my kids? It's not like they are walking around the store with halos and wings, singing sweetly and beaming like cherubs. They're just being normal. And that's when it hit me: my kids are normal. What strangers see in my kids is, to them, remarkable or uncommon, even abnormal. Our culture has become so used to kids misbehaving in public, that it's expected and thought to be just normal kid behavior. Parents have become so afraid to stand up to their children and firmly require respect and good behavior, afraid to love them enough to train them to behave normally, that public places have become a free-for-all for bratty kids. In my own lifetime, I have seen a decline in children's behavior; when I was a child, public mayhem created by children was rarely, if ever, seen.
As much as I enjoy people praising my kids in public (what mom doesn't?) and as much as I love for them to hear words of affirmation from strangers, I always feel a bit sad after these encounters. Sad that well-behaved kids are so uncommon that people stop and stare. Sad that parents are wasting a valuable resource, their children, in favor of being cool parents that let their kids get in touch with their inner animal nature. Sad that, we as a culture, refuse to deal with our children's sin, and sinful behavior looks normal and natural, and is accepted.
Don't get me wrong: my kids are not perfect and I am certainly not going to win a mom of the year award anytime soon. Really, any good behavior from my kids is probably more in spite of me than because of me. But getting kids to behave in public is not rocket science! You don't have to read a bunch of books (although I would recommend the book of Proverbs) or go to parenting classes (but going to the Cross is a must) or join a support group (but friends with kids older than yours can offer insight), in order to have peace in your home or when you take your kids out in public. And the peace in my home has to start with me. Lord, give me Your wisdom and discernment and peace.
But the more this happens, the more I wonder: why are people stopping me in the store and praising my kids? It's not like they are walking around the store with halos and wings, singing sweetly and beaming like cherubs. They're just being normal. And that's when it hit me: my kids are normal. What strangers see in my kids is, to them, remarkable or uncommon, even abnormal. Our culture has become so used to kids misbehaving in public, that it's expected and thought to be just normal kid behavior. Parents have become so afraid to stand up to their children and firmly require respect and good behavior, afraid to love them enough to train them to behave normally, that public places have become a free-for-all for bratty kids. In my own lifetime, I have seen a decline in children's behavior; when I was a child, public mayhem created by children was rarely, if ever, seen.
As much as I enjoy people praising my kids in public (what mom doesn't?) and as much as I love for them to hear words of affirmation from strangers, I always feel a bit sad after these encounters. Sad that well-behaved kids are so uncommon that people stop and stare. Sad that parents are wasting a valuable resource, their children, in favor of being cool parents that let their kids get in touch with their inner animal nature. Sad that, we as a culture, refuse to deal with our children's sin, and sinful behavior looks normal and natural, and is accepted.
Don't get me wrong: my kids are not perfect and I am certainly not going to win a mom of the year award anytime soon. Really, any good behavior from my kids is probably more in spite of me than because of me. But getting kids to behave in public is not rocket science! You don't have to read a bunch of books (although I would recommend the book of Proverbs) or go to parenting classes (but going to the Cross is a must) or join a support group (but friends with kids older than yours can offer insight), in order to have peace in your home or when you take your kids out in public. And the peace in my home has to start with me. Lord, give me Your wisdom and discernment and peace.
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