Call My Name
She dances around me as I kneel in the water, dancing circles around me. And she's laughing and squealing and looking into my eyes, looking deep into my soul. Her laugh is unfettered and real and from her very core, and when her eyes look into mine I see nothing but pure joy, complete trust. Her happiness bubbles up, not willing to be contained, like the bubbles she creates in the water as she runs around me. And she calls my name over and over in her little voice; it's a shout of unabashed love and confidence and connection. My hand reaches out to her to touch her as she passes and she screams in glee.
"Mommy! Mommy!" She laughs my name.
And I remember long ago a dream I used to have. It was during a time of sadness and emptiness; a time after losing a child and before having any living ones. In the dream I could hear a sweet, little voice calling my name in joy and gladness, and it filled me. I wanted to run to that voice and scoop up the child in my arms, but it was a dream and the child was fleeting and the dream was over.
And I would wake bereft.
Years have passed and many children have called my name, sometimes crying, sometimes laughing, sometimes in fear or sometimes out of boredom. And as they have grown, they call my name for different reasons, and I sometimes want to hide. But when they are little, and call my name in laughter just like in my dreams, I feel a joy unspeakable, a joy that squeezes my heart and makes my throat close up. A joy that washes over me in waves. A joy that is a dream come true.
Being a Mommy is enough.
"Mommy! Mommy!" She laughs my name.
And I remember long ago a dream I used to have. It was during a time of sadness and emptiness; a time after losing a child and before having any living ones. In the dream I could hear a sweet, little voice calling my name in joy and gladness, and it filled me. I wanted to run to that voice and scoop up the child in my arms, but it was a dream and the child was fleeting and the dream was over.
And I would wake bereft.
Years have passed and many children have called my name, sometimes crying, sometimes laughing, sometimes in fear or sometimes out of boredom. And as they have grown, they call my name for different reasons, and I sometimes want to hide. But when they are little, and call my name in laughter just like in my dreams, I feel a joy unspeakable, a joy that squeezes my heart and makes my throat close up. A joy that washes over me in waves. A joy that is a dream come true.
Being a Mommy is enough.
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