Back to School
So it's that time of year again. Kids are going back to school, and school supplies and new clothes have been flying off the shelves. It's an exciting time of year for some, for some it is filled with dread and anxiety. As a homeschooler, I too, get caught up in it all. After a summer off spent playing at the pool, we start to look forward to the fall, and at the same time whisper a sad farewell to summer.
But there is also a darker side to this season, one that we all see and think is OK. One that we laugh at and may even celebrate. It's the season we see moms rejoicing over the fact that the kids will be back in school. Moms doing a happy dance as the bus picks up the kids for their first day. Moms posting on social media how happy they are that summer is over and they can get back to their own lives. Moms declaring to the person sitting next to her at the pool: Hooray for me! The kids are leaving!
Sure, they will still do the kids' laundry and cook their meals, but for the better part of the day, mom gets to enjoy her solitude. Solitude is great, once in a while, and there is nothing wrong with it, and I think every mom needs some. But what are we saying to our kids? How do kids internalize their mothers' joy over the school bus? How does this make a kids feel, when year after year, every August, their mom is overjoyed at the prospect of shipping the kids out on the bus for the next 9 months?
Kids watch everything we do and say. They read our facial expressions and body language. They take us moms in- all of us. And why shouldn't they? We are their world for the first several years of their lives. They interpret the world with us and through us. We are home base, safety, a security blanket.
Moms, please think about what you are doing. Think about the message you send to your kids every summer. You may be happy they are gone daily for the school year, but please, keep it to yourselves (and your husbands). At least don't broadcast it for all to see and hear. Because your kids will see it too. Because your kids will hear it too.
Being proud of your kids and being happy for your kids as they venture out into school is one thing. Celebrating the beginning of nine months (in front of the kids) of me-time as the kids march onto the bus is another.
I know the fierce love a mom has for her kids. I know these moms love their kids just as much as I love mine. But my heart breaks a little when I hear a mom declare how she can't wait for summer vacation (and even Christmas break) to end. I feel a lump in my throat for those kids who, to some degree, may wonder why mom is so happy to see them go.
We all have just 18 summers with our kids, whether we homeschool or not. 18. I want my kids to remember each one of them as times of playing and swimming and making popsicles and lemonade stands. Times of running through the sprinkler and playing on the swings and trampoline. Of riding bikes and sitting under the Maple tree out front watching for bumblebees and butterflies. And, most of all, mom wanting it to never end.
But there is also a darker side to this season, one that we all see and think is OK. One that we laugh at and may even celebrate. It's the season we see moms rejoicing over the fact that the kids will be back in school. Moms doing a happy dance as the bus picks up the kids for their first day. Moms posting on social media how happy they are that summer is over and they can get back to their own lives. Moms declaring to the person sitting next to her at the pool: Hooray for me! The kids are leaving!
Sure, they will still do the kids' laundry and cook their meals, but for the better part of the day, mom gets to enjoy her solitude. Solitude is great, once in a while, and there is nothing wrong with it, and I think every mom needs some. But what are we saying to our kids? How do kids internalize their mothers' joy over the school bus? How does this make a kids feel, when year after year, every August, their mom is overjoyed at the prospect of shipping the kids out on the bus for the next 9 months?
Kids watch everything we do and say. They read our facial expressions and body language. They take us moms in- all of us. And why shouldn't they? We are their world for the first several years of their lives. They interpret the world with us and through us. We are home base, safety, a security blanket.
Moms, please think about what you are doing. Think about the message you send to your kids every summer. You may be happy they are gone daily for the school year, but please, keep it to yourselves (and your husbands). At least don't broadcast it for all to see and hear. Because your kids will see it too. Because your kids will hear it too.
Being proud of your kids and being happy for your kids as they venture out into school is one thing. Celebrating the beginning of nine months (in front of the kids) of me-time as the kids march onto the bus is another.
I know the fierce love a mom has for her kids. I know these moms love their kids just as much as I love mine. But my heart breaks a little when I hear a mom declare how she can't wait for summer vacation (and even Christmas break) to end. I feel a lump in my throat for those kids who, to some degree, may wonder why mom is so happy to see them go.
We all have just 18 summers with our kids, whether we homeschool or not. 18. I want my kids to remember each one of them as times of playing and swimming and making popsicles and lemonade stands. Times of running through the sprinkler and playing on the swings and trampoline. Of riding bikes and sitting under the Maple tree out front watching for bumblebees and butterflies. And, most of all, mom wanting it to never end.
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