Every Good Gift
There are occasional lists or rules presented around Christmastime to help parents navigate the gift giving part of the season, and hopefully reign in the madness of too much stuff under the tree. Years ago, a friend shared that she limited the gifts to three things to commemorate the three gifts mentioned in the Bible that Jesus received. And that's a helpful place to start. On the other end of the spectrum, I have known parents whose kids make lengthy lists of things they want and the parents can choose from that list (or get all of it).
Recently, there has been circulating the Four Gift Rule: one thing the child wants, one thing the child needs, an article of clothing and a book. Again, it's a helpful place to start. Some parents protested that rule because the last three suggestions were not, actually gifts.
And, as can be expected, this got me to thinking. What are good gifts to give our kids? Just things they want? Are things they need, such as clothes or books, really gifts, or giving them their due? This, in turn, led me to think of the gifts that God gives us. He gives us all we need, like air to breathe and a sun to warm us, and many things we want, like good health or the love of our life. He gives us things we don't really need, but sure are nice to have around. The blue of a Blue Jay, or the red of cranberries, the smell of rain in the spring or the taste of chocolate are all things we don't need for survival, but they do make life more enjoyable. (Well, OK, chocolate...) He gave us Christ, and that is certainly something we need. But of all the gifts he gives us, I would have to say that I enjoy and treasure the ones that I need over the ones that I want.
One of the things we have never done in our family is allowing or encouraging our kids to tell us what they want for Christmas. And truthfully, they have never even asked. I don't think they even knew that it was an option. Only the adult kids are just now dropping hints or leaving items on the Amazon wish list. Even though we never ask them what they want for Christmas, they know they will be receiving gifts, and they all look forward to Christmas morning to see what we have given them. Some of them will be things they want, and some will be things they need, and some things will be complete surprises. They trust us to pick out gifts that they will enjoy, no matter if they are needed or wanted, and most of the time, we pick out items that fit the bill. We try to limit the amount, but there is no hard and fast number we stick to.
And isn't that how we are to relate to God? Aren't we to trust Him to know what we want and need? We can even trust Him to surprise us! Sure, we can approach the throne of grace and ask Him for things. But His answers may not be what we hoped for, or when we wanted. They may not seem to come at all. But ultimately, we are to trust Him.
It's fun to give our kids gifts that they want- to see their eyes light up with joy, and laugh and yell with thanksgiving is truly something a parent treasures up in their heart. But it is also fun to give our kids things they need- to see their eyes light up and to hear a heartfelt "thank you" from them is also treasure for a parent's heart. Seeing them use and enjoy all the gifts we have given them is really all the present I need on Christmas morning. So much of gift giving depends not only on the giver, but what is going on in the heart of the receiver. Gift giving is not really a one way proposition. As our kids trust us to give them good gifts, they can trust God to do the same. As our kids see the value in gifts that are wanted and gifts that are needed, they can learn to see the value in the gifts from God.
"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows."
-James 1:17
Recently, there has been circulating the Four Gift Rule: one thing the child wants, one thing the child needs, an article of clothing and a book. Again, it's a helpful place to start. Some parents protested that rule because the last three suggestions were not, actually gifts.
And, as can be expected, this got me to thinking. What are good gifts to give our kids? Just things they want? Are things they need, such as clothes or books, really gifts, or giving them their due? This, in turn, led me to think of the gifts that God gives us. He gives us all we need, like air to breathe and a sun to warm us, and many things we want, like good health or the love of our life. He gives us things we don't really need, but sure are nice to have around. The blue of a Blue Jay, or the red of cranberries, the smell of rain in the spring or the taste of chocolate are all things we don't need for survival, but they do make life more enjoyable. (Well, OK, chocolate...) He gave us Christ, and that is certainly something we need. But of all the gifts he gives us, I would have to say that I enjoy and treasure the ones that I need over the ones that I want.
One of the things we have never done in our family is allowing or encouraging our kids to tell us what they want for Christmas. And truthfully, they have never even asked. I don't think they even knew that it was an option. Only the adult kids are just now dropping hints or leaving items on the Amazon wish list. Even though we never ask them what they want for Christmas, they know they will be receiving gifts, and they all look forward to Christmas morning to see what we have given them. Some of them will be things they want, and some will be things they need, and some things will be complete surprises. They trust us to pick out gifts that they will enjoy, no matter if they are needed or wanted, and most of the time, we pick out items that fit the bill. We try to limit the amount, but there is no hard and fast number we stick to.
And isn't that how we are to relate to God? Aren't we to trust Him to know what we want and need? We can even trust Him to surprise us! Sure, we can approach the throne of grace and ask Him for things. But His answers may not be what we hoped for, or when we wanted. They may not seem to come at all. But ultimately, we are to trust Him.
It's fun to give our kids gifts that they want- to see their eyes light up with joy, and laugh and yell with thanksgiving is truly something a parent treasures up in their heart. But it is also fun to give our kids things they need- to see their eyes light up and to hear a heartfelt "thank you" from them is also treasure for a parent's heart. Seeing them use and enjoy all the gifts we have given them is really all the present I need on Christmas morning. So much of gift giving depends not only on the giver, but what is going on in the heart of the receiver. Gift giving is not really a one way proposition. As our kids trust us to give them good gifts, they can trust God to do the same. As our kids see the value in gifts that are wanted and gifts that are needed, they can learn to see the value in the gifts from God.
"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows."
-James 1:17
Comments
Post a Comment