You're Fired!
So your wife wants to homeschool, but you're not so sure. You're full of questions and doubts and you want what's best for your child. Maybe you don't know any other homeschooling dads or their kids to see first hand how it all works. And you are likely a guy who wants to see proof, the bottom line, a flow chart or a graph- something tangible and, preferably involving numbers, that demonstrates just how well your child is doing.
And so you, being the man of the house, and taking your responsibility as such seriously, express your misgivings to your wife. You may have given her a set amount of time to prove herself, or you have allowed her to go ahead, but you are open about your doubts. Maybe you are ready to pull the plug and make your wife put your child in school. Or, she is asking you- begging you- to let her homeschool. And you are not on board with that.
I'd like you to imagine something for a minute. Imagine having worked hard at your company for 5-6 years. You've done a great job and your supervisor always encourages you and praises your work. But one day, out of the blue, your supervisor calls you into his office. You are told that, you are no longer competent enough to do your job full time and you are being demoted to part time. Very part time. You are being replaced by someone else to fulfill most of your duties. Your supervisor, who was once so supportive of you, now says that he doubts you can continue on in your present job, nor could you ever grow and learn more and take on more responsibilities.
You'd feel pretty crummy, right? Mad? Insulted? Hurt? You might be tempted to just quit altogether.
Well, that's pretty much what you are doing to your wife when you won't let her homeschool, or you won't support her, or you are demanding proof- or else! You are telling her that, while she's done a good job mothering your child for the past 6 years, she just can't hack it any more. She has reached her level of incompetence and she needs a replacement. She is being demoted from full time mom to a very part time mom. A professional will handle most of her duties from now on.
And that's a pretty insulting thing to do to your wife.
I know you want what is best- every dad does. But don't let the culture and your neighbors and your own experiences blind you to what your wife has done and can do. Can you possibly name all the things she has taught your child up to this point? I dare you to try. You might think you know, but you don't. You aren't with them all day to see all she has done for your child.
She knows him like the back of her hand.
She knows him better than anyone, and that may include you. Sorry, but that comes with the territory of a stay at home mom gig. And that makes her uniquely qualified to carry on mothering him, including teaching him some math and how to read. She doesn't have to be a rocket scientist to do it. She doesn't have to have any kind of degree or training at all. She just has to be his mom. Teachers in schools who are in charge or 20-30 kids, who have a broad range of intelligence, background and learning styles, and who are all strangers DO need some training. Because what they do in the classroom is not remotely like what your wife is doing in the home. You didn't require your wife to go to school to learn how to be a mommy did you? Then why are you calling in the professionals now? What changed when your child turned 5 or 6? Nothing! The only thing that changed was your attitude or your opinion. You let the culture change you. But the nature of the relationship your wife and child have remains unchanged.
Leave it be. Trust her. Pray for her. Support her. Seek out other dads who have gone ahead of you.
Let her continue to mother your child.
And so you, being the man of the house, and taking your responsibility as such seriously, express your misgivings to your wife. You may have given her a set amount of time to prove herself, or you have allowed her to go ahead, but you are open about your doubts. Maybe you are ready to pull the plug and make your wife put your child in school. Or, she is asking you- begging you- to let her homeschool. And you are not on board with that.
I'd like you to imagine something for a minute. Imagine having worked hard at your company for 5-6 years. You've done a great job and your supervisor always encourages you and praises your work. But one day, out of the blue, your supervisor calls you into his office. You are told that, you are no longer competent enough to do your job full time and you are being demoted to part time. Very part time. You are being replaced by someone else to fulfill most of your duties. Your supervisor, who was once so supportive of you, now says that he doubts you can continue on in your present job, nor could you ever grow and learn more and take on more responsibilities.
You'd feel pretty crummy, right? Mad? Insulted? Hurt? You might be tempted to just quit altogether.
Well, that's pretty much what you are doing to your wife when you won't let her homeschool, or you won't support her, or you are demanding proof- or else! You are telling her that, while she's done a good job mothering your child for the past 6 years, she just can't hack it any more. She has reached her level of incompetence and she needs a replacement. She is being demoted from full time mom to a very part time mom. A professional will handle most of her duties from now on.
And that's a pretty insulting thing to do to your wife.
I know you want what is best- every dad does. But don't let the culture and your neighbors and your own experiences blind you to what your wife has done and can do. Can you possibly name all the things she has taught your child up to this point? I dare you to try. You might think you know, but you don't. You aren't with them all day to see all she has done for your child.
She knows him like the back of her hand.
She knows him better than anyone, and that may include you. Sorry, but that comes with the territory of a stay at home mom gig. And that makes her uniquely qualified to carry on mothering him, including teaching him some math and how to read. She doesn't have to be a rocket scientist to do it. She doesn't have to have any kind of degree or training at all. She just has to be his mom. Teachers in schools who are in charge or 20-30 kids, who have a broad range of intelligence, background and learning styles, and who are all strangers DO need some training. Because what they do in the classroom is not remotely like what your wife is doing in the home. You didn't require your wife to go to school to learn how to be a mommy did you? Then why are you calling in the professionals now? What changed when your child turned 5 or 6? Nothing! The only thing that changed was your attitude or your opinion. You let the culture change you. But the nature of the relationship your wife and child have remains unchanged.
Leave it be. Trust her. Pray for her. Support her. Seek out other dads who have gone ahead of you.
Let her continue to mother your child.
Comments
Post a Comment