Three Teens
Well, it's official: I have 3 teenagers in the house. I'm not sure why that number is significant; I've had 2 teenagers for 3 years now. But I think for me, the significance lies in the fact that, by my calculations, I will have 3 teens in the house for the next 12 years and I will have teens in the house for 18 more years. Let that sink in. I feel I am embarking on a new chapter in my life, one that will involve many more late nights, many tears, much counsel and listening, ministering to these teens God has given me.
Recently, I finished reading a book entitled "Yes, Your Teen is Crazy", written by counselor Michael J. Bradley, Ed. D. He wrote the book before his kids were teenagers themselves, so he was writing from clinical experience, not personal. "Just you wait," I thought when I finished the book. But it was a helpful book, giving insight into what happens in the teenage brain, which closely resembles what happens in the 2 and 3 year old brain. The author's whole argument rests on his opinion that teens are temporarily insane, and that we parents must keep that in mind as we parent our kids. I, of course, already knew that teens are insane, but it was nice to be validated as well as enlightened. The book doesn't get too medical, so it's easy to follow, and he uses a lot of humor, which keeps things from getting too heavy. I would recommend the book to my fellow parents of teens, with two caveats: there is a fair amount of swearing in the excerpts of sessions with his patients, and it is written from a secular viewpoint.
Teens are challenging, for sure, and you need nerves of steel, but I am enjoying this phase for the most part. They need a lot of prayer and time and guidance, and some days seem to never end. I would love more survival tips, but here is what I have come up with so far: Don't take all of their craziness personally; it's not necessarily a reflection of your parenting, imperfect as it is. Hold them responsible for their actions and attitudes. Try not to show your shock, dismay, or incredulity when they present their hare-brained schemes to you. Pray, pray, pray. And just like first-time moms of preschoolers need support, moms and dads of teens need support and prayer, too. Really, teens are more needy than toddlers! So, for those of you who have already raised your kids, don't forget to encourage and pray for those of us in the trenches. And for those who have raised some of your kids to adulthood, but still have more to go, you are an inspiration to me. And lastly, for those of you whose kids are not yet teens, the ride is going to get rough, but you'll be fine. You know where to find me if you need a shoulder to cry on.
Recently, I finished reading a book entitled "Yes, Your Teen is Crazy", written by counselor Michael J. Bradley, Ed. D. He wrote the book before his kids were teenagers themselves, so he was writing from clinical experience, not personal. "Just you wait," I thought when I finished the book. But it was a helpful book, giving insight into what happens in the teenage brain, which closely resembles what happens in the 2 and 3 year old brain. The author's whole argument rests on his opinion that teens are temporarily insane, and that we parents must keep that in mind as we parent our kids. I, of course, already knew that teens are insane, but it was nice to be validated as well as enlightened. The book doesn't get too medical, so it's easy to follow, and he uses a lot of humor, which keeps things from getting too heavy. I would recommend the book to my fellow parents of teens, with two caveats: there is a fair amount of swearing in the excerpts of sessions with his patients, and it is written from a secular viewpoint.
Teens are challenging, for sure, and you need nerves of steel, but I am enjoying this phase for the most part. They need a lot of prayer and time and guidance, and some days seem to never end. I would love more survival tips, but here is what I have come up with so far: Don't take all of their craziness personally; it's not necessarily a reflection of your parenting, imperfect as it is. Hold them responsible for their actions and attitudes. Try not to show your shock, dismay, or incredulity when they present their hare-brained schemes to you. Pray, pray, pray. And just like first-time moms of preschoolers need support, moms and dads of teens need support and prayer, too. Really, teens are more needy than toddlers! So, for those of you who have already raised your kids, don't forget to encourage and pray for those of us in the trenches. And for those who have raised some of your kids to adulthood, but still have more to go, you are an inspiration to me. And lastly, for those of you whose kids are not yet teens, the ride is going to get rough, but you'll be fine. You know where to find me if you need a shoulder to cry on.
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