Timing

     Timing is everything, and it's never a good time for something bad to happen, or so we think. Over the years, my husband and I have weathered many sad times, times that were a burden to carry. But as I look back, I also see how those trying times were accompanied by an uplifting or joyous event. After we lost our first baby, we got a puppy; but unbeknownst to us, she was already dying of distemper. "Great, our baby dies, and now our puppy is dying," we said. But our vet asked if he could have a chance at saving her, at no cost to us, other than just boarding her. Our neighbors rallied around us and asked for daily updates. The vet saved her, as well as our spirits, and we had 11 years with that faithful dog. Sadly, she developed cancer, and we had to put her down a week before I gave birth to our fifth child. During that 11 years, my father-in-law was run over by a car 2 weeks before I gave birth to our third child. My dear husband's life was shaken, but he had a sweet baby to hold when he was feeling really bad. My own father sickened and died during the first year of my fourth child's life. Not a year later, my mother-in-law lay in hospice when I discovered I was expecting child number five. My husband and I were going through a tough time when I discovered I was expecting baby number 7.  Recently, my brother in law passed away the day before our oldest child's graduation party.
     This is not to say that my life has been full of bad events; I have led a blessed life beyond my wildest dreams. Yes, these losses were heartrending and some carried a lot of responsibility in the aftermath. But each time, there was another event that encouraged us or was cause for celebration. A pessimist would look at that that and say how inconvenient it was to have to deal with a baby or pregnancy during trying times; that these were added burdens on us. But I would argue, that, while they seemed burdens, they were really cushions. They padded the trials with joy, keeping things balanced and in perspective. Sure, it was hard to be pregnant or care for an infant while caring for a sick loved one, or taking care of their estate, but we looked at those babies, whether in utero or already born, as refuges from the turbulence around us. Yes, it was hard physically and emotionally for me to be stretched in two different directions, and sometimes I wondered at the timing of things. But, God's timing is perfect, even if we can't see it; His timing is always better than anything we could have thought of. Life and death, the circle of life: inseparable. Where there is life, there will eventually be death; but when there is death, there is still life all around us, giving us hope and joy in the midst of tears. I certainly have not had a life like Job's, but I have a small inkling of why he was able to utter: "The Lord gives and the Lord takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord."