New Mom
Dear new mom,
I know you are exhausted and feel at the end of your rope. I know you are wondering what in the world you were thinking when you thought having a baby sounded like a great idea. I know you think there will be no end to the sleepless nights and the crying and the nursing. So I will try to be brief. Because you need to sleep.
You are in survival mode right now. You are recovering from 9 months of pregnancy, child birth (whether vaginal or C-section) and most likely trying to nurse a new baby. And you are doing it all at once. On very little sleep. And you've never done this before.
You are trying to do what the pediatrician has told you to do, and you want to do it perfectly. And you may be trying to fit your baby and your mothering skills and needs into a cookie-cutter way of doing things. So, take your doctor's advice with a grain of salt; he is not a god. He is giving you advice based on recent research, trends and statistics, and doing so with good intentions, but your mothering instincts may tell you otherwise. So ask older moms for advice, pray and do what you believe to be best for you and baby.
If you are nursing, you want to be the only source of sustenance for your baby; giving baby formula or breast milk in a bottle seems like cheating, and your doctor and research has you wondering about nipple confusion and just when is the right time to introduce a bottle? The right time is when you decide it is. My husband did a beautiful thing for me when some of our babies were new. He took over one of the night time feedings all alone so I could sleep. It was formula because pumping never worked well for me. So what? 90% or more of all my kids' nutritional needs were met by my milk in the first 6 months of their lives. It was only for a month or so, but it gave me the sleep and rest I needed, and he had a quiet time with his baby.
Tag-team parenting. Don't try to co-parent right now. Sleep when the baby is sleeping or when your husband has the baby. It's a bit lonely, but it will help you both survive this intense time in your lives.
Every medical person you talk to will preach to you to put the baby on her back to sleep. Most babies hate this position and they don't sleep well like that (but if yours does, then don't mess with it). Clear the crib of all items except the fitted sheet and bumper pad. Have some air moving gently in the room and put baby on her tummy (assuming baby is normal and healthy) in her crib, in her own room. Then walk away. You cannot parent 24/7. You can't. At some point you have to surrender your baby to the Lord to watch over her. Someday, you will have to do the same thing when she becomes an adult, but that's for another discussion.
Accept help when it is offered. Ask for help from your family or friends; people who understand you and don't stress you out. Ask older moms for help and advice and prayer. They will be glad you asked and will do whatever they can to help you.
Rest in the Lord. You will get through this. God has equipped you with a built-in instinct for parenting your baby. Doctors and books are helpful, but you know what? You get to make the decisions. Now get some sleep.
I know you are exhausted and feel at the end of your rope. I know you are wondering what in the world you were thinking when you thought having a baby sounded like a great idea. I know you think there will be no end to the sleepless nights and the crying and the nursing. So I will try to be brief. Because you need to sleep.
You are in survival mode right now. You are recovering from 9 months of pregnancy, child birth (whether vaginal or C-section) and most likely trying to nurse a new baby. And you are doing it all at once. On very little sleep. And you've never done this before.
You are trying to do what the pediatrician has told you to do, and you want to do it perfectly. And you may be trying to fit your baby and your mothering skills and needs into a cookie-cutter way of doing things. So, take your doctor's advice with a grain of salt; he is not a god. He is giving you advice based on recent research, trends and statistics, and doing so with good intentions, but your mothering instincts may tell you otherwise. So ask older moms for advice, pray and do what you believe to be best for you and baby.
If you are nursing, you want to be the only source of sustenance for your baby; giving baby formula or breast milk in a bottle seems like cheating, and your doctor and research has you wondering about nipple confusion and just when is the right time to introduce a bottle? The right time is when you decide it is. My husband did a beautiful thing for me when some of our babies were new. He took over one of the night time feedings all alone so I could sleep. It was formula because pumping never worked well for me. So what? 90% or more of all my kids' nutritional needs were met by my milk in the first 6 months of their lives. It was only for a month or so, but it gave me the sleep and rest I needed, and he had a quiet time with his baby.
Tag-team parenting. Don't try to co-parent right now. Sleep when the baby is sleeping or when your husband has the baby. It's a bit lonely, but it will help you both survive this intense time in your lives.
Every medical person you talk to will preach to you to put the baby on her back to sleep. Most babies hate this position and they don't sleep well like that (but if yours does, then don't mess with it). Clear the crib of all items except the fitted sheet and bumper pad. Have some air moving gently in the room and put baby on her tummy (assuming baby is normal and healthy) in her crib, in her own room. Then walk away. You cannot parent 24/7. You can't. At some point you have to surrender your baby to the Lord to watch over her. Someday, you will have to do the same thing when she becomes an adult, but that's for another discussion.
Accept help when it is offered. Ask for help from your family or friends; people who understand you and don't stress you out. Ask older moms for help and advice and prayer. They will be glad you asked and will do whatever they can to help you.
Rest in the Lord. You will get through this. God has equipped you with a built-in instinct for parenting your baby. Doctors and books are helpful, but you know what? You get to make the decisions. Now get some sleep.
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