Electric Children
Electronics. Video games. TV shows. Ipads. PCs. Phones. They are everywhere and seemingly in the hands of most kids- and very young ones at that. I have older kids who never had those things because they weren't nearly as ubiquitous as they are today. I have young children who don't have them because the older ones turned out fine and perfectly normal without being plugged in to something.
Honestly, it looks really weird to me to see kids as young as 8 or 9 engrossed in a device. Like they are unaware of their surroundings- in fact bored with them. Even though it's a common sight, it somehow seems as though they are enslaved. Enslaved to an object many times smaller than they are, but many times more powerful. It's just so sad, almost abusive, in fact. But parenting seems so much easier when a little device is placed in a child's hands. But is it?
Often I hear moms wonder how to limit them in the home or how to wean the kids off or take a break. They seem helpless and unable to act in the face of these little devices. Scared even, to suggest to their little tyrants, er, children that maybe they ought to put the silly things down and go outside.
My advice to moms of very young kids who haven't ventured down that path is- don't. Just don't buy them. Don't bring them in the house. Return them if you are gifted them by well-meaning and concerned relatives. Shun them. Kids don't need them! That may seem shocking to you, but kids can grow and develop and enjoy their childhoods with not much more than their imaginations and the back yard.
And if you have gone down that path and want to get off, then just get off. Sell them, give them away, whatever it takes. Simply walk them out of the house. Too much money invested in them? Too bad. It's an expensive lesson, but one worth learning, and the kids will only benefit. Yes, they will whine and pout and act like their life is over. You will feel guilt and a sense of foreboding that somehow you have just ruined their chances at college and a good job, happiness and any chance of having friends.
But it's all a lie. Instead, once they are done whining (and it will end sooner if you do not waver) they will discover new talents and interests. They may even discover that they actually have siblings. They will be forced to use their own minds and hands. They may get dirty, even, which could lead learning how to use the washer and dryer. And that could lead to learning how to fold and put away laundry! They may discover long forgotten toys and new games that are played with actual people and tangible manipulative pieces. They will discover that discussing deep topics with mom and dad is rather enjoyable.
At this point, most of you are rolling your eyes and thinking that I am some crazy type mom that thinks all that stuff is just evil. Sigh... No, sorry. There is a place for them and a time. They can be very useful and educational. They can instantly give needed information. They aren't all bad. But kids are kids for such a short time. They are developing at lightning speed. They only have 18 or so years to get that all done, and then the next 70 or so being adults.
Why not let them grow on their own, unhindered, untethered- unfettered? Why not let them look to themselves for entertainment and education? Why not let them bury themselves in books with their pictures and words and unique smells? To look up into a tree and daydream? To scavenge around the yard and build a fort or a miniature village for imaginary folks? To climb into mom's lap and sink into her softness and feel her heart beat? These days are fleeting and will never come again.
So just walk away from it. They will eventually discover electronics when they are older and are earning money and can buy their own. By then, their brains have developed and can discern a bit more readily when they are wasting their time or not. They will likely want to veg out in front of a screen after a hard day. And that's OK! They will figure out how to use all that stuff in the blink of an eye, too. But they will also know how to engage the real world around them and function in it. They will know how to make a phone call or write a letter or take a home baked goodie to a neighbor in need of some comfort. They will be able to read the newspaper (a real one, made of paper) and think for themselves. They will learn to be quiet and alone with their thoughts- unafraid to be bored. They will learn to rely on themselves and to allow others to rely on them.
And they will be fine.
Honestly, it looks really weird to me to see kids as young as 8 or 9 engrossed in a device. Like they are unaware of their surroundings- in fact bored with them. Even though it's a common sight, it somehow seems as though they are enslaved. Enslaved to an object many times smaller than they are, but many times more powerful. It's just so sad, almost abusive, in fact. But parenting seems so much easier when a little device is placed in a child's hands. But is it?
Often I hear moms wonder how to limit them in the home or how to wean the kids off or take a break. They seem helpless and unable to act in the face of these little devices. Scared even, to suggest to their little tyrants, er, children that maybe they ought to put the silly things down and go outside.
My advice to moms of very young kids who haven't ventured down that path is- don't. Just don't buy them. Don't bring them in the house. Return them if you are gifted them by well-meaning and concerned relatives. Shun them. Kids don't need them! That may seem shocking to you, but kids can grow and develop and enjoy their childhoods with not much more than their imaginations and the back yard.
And if you have gone down that path and want to get off, then just get off. Sell them, give them away, whatever it takes. Simply walk them out of the house. Too much money invested in them? Too bad. It's an expensive lesson, but one worth learning, and the kids will only benefit. Yes, they will whine and pout and act like their life is over. You will feel guilt and a sense of foreboding that somehow you have just ruined their chances at college and a good job, happiness and any chance of having friends.
But it's all a lie. Instead, once they are done whining (and it will end sooner if you do not waver) they will discover new talents and interests. They may even discover that they actually have siblings. They will be forced to use their own minds and hands. They may get dirty, even, which could lead learning how to use the washer and dryer. And that could lead to learning how to fold and put away laundry! They may discover long forgotten toys and new games that are played with actual people and tangible manipulative pieces. They will discover that discussing deep topics with mom and dad is rather enjoyable.
At this point, most of you are rolling your eyes and thinking that I am some crazy type mom that thinks all that stuff is just evil. Sigh... No, sorry. There is a place for them and a time. They can be very useful and educational. They can instantly give needed information. They aren't all bad. But kids are kids for such a short time. They are developing at lightning speed. They only have 18 or so years to get that all done, and then the next 70 or so being adults.
Why not let them grow on their own, unhindered, untethered- unfettered? Why not let them look to themselves for entertainment and education? Why not let them bury themselves in books with their pictures and words and unique smells? To look up into a tree and daydream? To scavenge around the yard and build a fort or a miniature village for imaginary folks? To climb into mom's lap and sink into her softness and feel her heart beat? These days are fleeting and will never come again.
So just walk away from it. They will eventually discover electronics when they are older and are earning money and can buy their own. By then, their brains have developed and can discern a bit more readily when they are wasting their time or not. They will likely want to veg out in front of a screen after a hard day. And that's OK! They will figure out how to use all that stuff in the blink of an eye, too. But they will also know how to engage the real world around them and function in it. They will know how to make a phone call or write a letter or take a home baked goodie to a neighbor in need of some comfort. They will be able to read the newspaper (a real one, made of paper) and think for themselves. They will learn to be quiet and alone with their thoughts- unafraid to be bored. They will learn to rely on themselves and to allow others to rely on them.
And they will be fine.
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