Unplugged
We have always been a low-tech family. We have always had only one PC for the family, and the kids have bought their own when they started college. They had to wait for smartphones until they were 16-17, depending on how ready we thought they were. There has been a huge shift in the prevalence of social media since the older kids came of age, and one of our kids got caught up in that, unfortunately. We rely more on books, newspapers, the library and talking to one another for information and interaction.
And that makes my kids different. Most of them haven't really cared, and have actually felt grateful to have avoided a lot of drama and trouble and time wasters.
But a recent conversation uncovered a startling revelation. Both my 16 and 14 year old kids have experienced something several times each. They meet someone at an activity or what have you, spend time with that person, then part ways when the activity has run its course. Later, they run into that person and immediately remember them and begin to talk to them. But the other person has no recollection of my child! None! After a few of these instances, they began to wonder what was the reason for this, but never asked me about it until recently.
My kids are on swim team, and I usually have the team over for a pasta dinner once or twice a season. I serve them dinner and observe from a distance. This is what I observed: kids interact with each other with their phones physically in between each other. They talk in spurts, never taking a lot of time on one subject, all the while snapping pictures and taking video of each other and posting to social media. When I shared this with my kids, the light bulb went on and they realized why people seem to have a hard time remembering them. My kids are not on social media, are not involved in group chats or connected to other kids in any way, other than the old-fashioned way. My kids are not in other kids' cyber world, and therefore are not part of their consciousness. My kids fly under the radar and are easily forgotten by others because they are not in the cloud.
Wow. What a revelation. And how sad.
You can google for yourself how addictive phones are for kids, and how much trouble schools are having with this addiction, and what strategies some schools are employing to combat this. Meanwhile, my kids are experiencing life with all their senses, learning how to navigate the real world. (And yes, they do use the PC to write papers, play some games and download music to their MP3 players).
Is this what we want? Is this how society is going to evolve? Will we get to the point where a smartphone will be completely necessary to have any kind of meaningful interaction with real people? Why are we handing these things to our small children, plugging them in for the rest of their developmental years? More and more studies are showing the effects this has on a developing brain. I find it funny that studies have to be done on something that seems so common sense to me. But I digress...
Let's let our kids develop normally, slowly and organically. Time will come when they will need internet access for school and work. Unfortunately, the schools thwart this by requiring kids being plugged in early on. Just another good reason to home educate your kids.
But as for my kids, I will allow them the opportunity to be unplugged as long as possible while they are growing. Of course, when they each get a phone, there will be tight restrictions that will be loosened as they mature. There have been plenty of discussions about internet dangers, and those will continue. We don't live under a rock.
While their peers will be adept at working a smartphone (which most older teens can figure out in a matter of hours), mine will be adept at conversation, developing friendships, helping their neighbors, cooking, sewing, using their imaginations, writing, painting, reading long and tedious but worthy works of literature, exploring nature, etc. Can kids be plugged in and experience life organically? Yes, but the point is what being plugged in does to their brains!
Just the other day, I noticed:
A child listening to the radio. An actual radio.
A child reading a book. An actual book.
A child drawing. On paper. With a pencil.
Kids talking to each other, looking each other in the eyes, with nothing electronic present.
A child teaching herself a song on her guitar. From a book.
One child asking another one for advice.
A child perusing the B volume of our encyclopedia.
An argument that was resolved in person. Not on social media.
What memories do you want your kids to have when they are older, and looking back on their childhood?
They are kids for such a short time. A beautiful, messy, intense time. Use the time wisely.
And that makes my kids different. Most of them haven't really cared, and have actually felt grateful to have avoided a lot of drama and trouble and time wasters.
But a recent conversation uncovered a startling revelation. Both my 16 and 14 year old kids have experienced something several times each. They meet someone at an activity or what have you, spend time with that person, then part ways when the activity has run its course. Later, they run into that person and immediately remember them and begin to talk to them. But the other person has no recollection of my child! None! After a few of these instances, they began to wonder what was the reason for this, but never asked me about it until recently.
My kids are on swim team, and I usually have the team over for a pasta dinner once or twice a season. I serve them dinner and observe from a distance. This is what I observed: kids interact with each other with their phones physically in between each other. They talk in spurts, never taking a lot of time on one subject, all the while snapping pictures and taking video of each other and posting to social media. When I shared this with my kids, the light bulb went on and they realized why people seem to have a hard time remembering them. My kids are not on social media, are not involved in group chats or connected to other kids in any way, other than the old-fashioned way. My kids are not in other kids' cyber world, and therefore are not part of their consciousness. My kids fly under the radar and are easily forgotten by others because they are not in the cloud.
Wow. What a revelation. And how sad.
You can google for yourself how addictive phones are for kids, and how much trouble schools are having with this addiction, and what strategies some schools are employing to combat this. Meanwhile, my kids are experiencing life with all their senses, learning how to navigate the real world. (And yes, they do use the PC to write papers, play some games and download music to their MP3 players).
Is this what we want? Is this how society is going to evolve? Will we get to the point where a smartphone will be completely necessary to have any kind of meaningful interaction with real people? Why are we handing these things to our small children, plugging them in for the rest of their developmental years? More and more studies are showing the effects this has on a developing brain. I find it funny that studies have to be done on something that seems so common sense to me. But I digress...
Let's let our kids develop normally, slowly and organically. Time will come when they will need internet access for school and work. Unfortunately, the schools thwart this by requiring kids being plugged in early on. Just another good reason to home educate your kids.
But as for my kids, I will allow them the opportunity to be unplugged as long as possible while they are growing. Of course, when they each get a phone, there will be tight restrictions that will be loosened as they mature. There have been plenty of discussions about internet dangers, and those will continue. We don't live under a rock.
While their peers will be adept at working a smartphone (which most older teens can figure out in a matter of hours), mine will be adept at conversation, developing friendships, helping their neighbors, cooking, sewing, using their imaginations, writing, painting, reading long and tedious but worthy works of literature, exploring nature, etc. Can kids be plugged in and experience life organically? Yes, but the point is what being plugged in does to their brains!
Just the other day, I noticed:
A child listening to the radio. An actual radio.
A child reading a book. An actual book.
A child drawing. On paper. With a pencil.
Kids talking to each other, looking each other in the eyes, with nothing electronic present.
A child teaching herself a song on her guitar. From a book.
One child asking another one for advice.
A child perusing the B volume of our encyclopedia.
An argument that was resolved in person. Not on social media.
What memories do you want your kids to have when they are older, and looking back on their childhood?
They are kids for such a short time. A beautiful, messy, intense time. Use the time wisely.
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