Andrew
Nineteen years ago, I gave birth to our first son. A lifetime ago. You can read more about that here in a previous blog. That year, Jay and I planted a Rose of Sharon in our front yard, since it blooms in August, when our little boy should have been born. It was a little, scrawny bush, much like little Andrew. But that little bush grew and grew and GREW. Years later, we moved from that house into our present house. The Rose of Sharon was too big to take with us and plant in our new yard. We kept the old house and rented it out, and I knew I could go see my tree and pick its blossoms in the summer, but I was heartbroken that it would not be in my new front yard. But the first summer we lived there, a Rose of Sharon popped up, yes, in my front yard! It was too young to bloom that summer, but it has bloomed every August after, and now stands tall and beautiful.
Now, I didn't need that tree in my yard, I just wanted one. But God, who I do believe cares about the little things in our lives, and has a bit of a sense of humor, made sure that a Rose of Sharon would grow right where I wanted it. Any old tree or bush could have appeared there, but I think God just wanted to remind me that He pays attention. Every summer, I pick some blossoms from my tree, and remember a time a deep sadness and longing, of uncertainty and emptiness; and I remember a time of healing and comfort, the kind that only God can offer.
Nineteen years ago, today, my first son was born. God cared for me then, as He always has and always will. But sometimes we need to go through the darkness to see His light and love more clearly. And sometimes He uses a simple thing such as a tree, to remind us of His love. I am as thankful for the pain of losing a baby as I am for the joy of being a mother of 7 living children. I am thankful for a little tree that blooms in August. I am thankful that every year, on this day, my eyes fill with tears. I am thankful that today, and every March 19th, I can reflect on God's goodness to me, and that what was initially painful, has brought me peace, and joy. Happy Birthday, my sweet Andrew.
Now, I didn't need that tree in my yard, I just wanted one. But God, who I do believe cares about the little things in our lives, and has a bit of a sense of humor, made sure that a Rose of Sharon would grow right where I wanted it. Any old tree or bush could have appeared there, but I think God just wanted to remind me that He pays attention. Every summer, I pick some blossoms from my tree, and remember a time a deep sadness and longing, of uncertainty and emptiness; and I remember a time of healing and comfort, the kind that only God can offer.
Nineteen years ago, today, my first son was born. God cared for me then, as He always has and always will. But sometimes we need to go through the darkness to see His light and love more clearly. And sometimes He uses a simple thing such as a tree, to remind us of His love. I am as thankful for the pain of losing a baby as I am for the joy of being a mother of 7 living children. I am thankful for a little tree that blooms in August. I am thankful that every year, on this day, my eyes fill with tears. I am thankful that today, and every March 19th, I can reflect on God's goodness to me, and that what was initially painful, has brought me peace, and joy. Happy Birthday, my sweet Andrew.
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