Whose Are You?
Who do children belong to? This question is buzzing around these days all over the internet and at dinner tables and coffee shops. Do kids belong to parents or the community? Does 'belonging' mean 'property'? Does 'community' mean the state, your neighborhood or your school district? Who is ultimately responsible for the job of parenting? Is it solely parents, or a combination of parents and the community? How much credit should the community take for the way your children develop, grow and learn?
We have children either through natural birth or adoption; either of which is a process we must commit ourselves to and endure, and results in a new addition to the family that we then commit to raising to adulthood. The question that I have not seen or alluded to in this debate is: Who gives us children? I think that we need to start there in order to work through these questions.
I suppose some people think that babies are just a chance occurrence of an egg and a sperm, and the resulting baby is just the product of chance cell divisions. But I think that more people than not, regardless of other religious convictions, would say that babies are a gift from God; a miracle, a wonder.
We humans give gifts to each other for a variety of reasons, and it's usually understood that the receiver does not owe the giver anything (at least, it should be that way!) But when God gives us a gift, most especially life, are we not beholden to Him for that gift? Should we not use the gift of life to honor Him in such a way to show our gratitude?
Which brings me back to the first question I asked: Who do children belong to? It's a tough question, but important if we are to understand the rest of the questions I asked. Yes, God gave me my children, and they are mine, and no one else's. Scripture clearly places the responsibility for child raising on the parents' shoulders. But as a parent of several children, some of whom are rapidly approaching adulthood, I know that I must be willing to allow someone else to claim ownership over them. The state? The school system? My neighborhood, city or church? No, my children belong to none of those things, although they may be touched or instructed by them. No, they belong to none but God, the one who gave them to me in the first place. You see, just as someday we parents must let our children grow up and leave and make their own way in the world, we must also recognize the Author of their lives, and give them back to Him. Not literally, of course, but allowing God to reign sovereign in their lives; that they are not really mine, but mine for a time, on loan, to protect and love, and point them to their Maker.
If you look at your children as random collections of cells, or as gifts from a fuzzy notion of God or some other Being, then it's easy to allow outside entities lay claim to them, because, just as when someone gives you a gift, you feel no obligation to the giver. But when you look at your kids, and see the image of God stamped all over them, it's a lot harder to just happily allow the community (whatever that means) or the collective (yet another vague term) to arrogate some ownership over or interest in them.
My children are mine, but they are not mine. They are mine for a while, and while they are mine, they are mine. But ultimately, they are God's, and I must treat them as such; since they are not really mine, I, therefore, can't give them away to the state, or my community or any other institution or entity that would undermine parental authority in any way. They are God's, and anyone that says the notion of sole parental authority and responsibility should give way to a belief that children belong to everyone or a collective should be kept away from our kids at all costs. I'm keeping them away from mine.
We have children either through natural birth or adoption; either of which is a process we must commit ourselves to and endure, and results in a new addition to the family that we then commit to raising to adulthood. The question that I have not seen or alluded to in this debate is: Who gives us children? I think that we need to start there in order to work through these questions.
I suppose some people think that babies are just a chance occurrence of an egg and a sperm, and the resulting baby is just the product of chance cell divisions. But I think that more people than not, regardless of other religious convictions, would say that babies are a gift from God; a miracle, a wonder.
We humans give gifts to each other for a variety of reasons, and it's usually understood that the receiver does not owe the giver anything (at least, it should be that way!) But when God gives us a gift, most especially life, are we not beholden to Him for that gift? Should we not use the gift of life to honor Him in such a way to show our gratitude?
Which brings me back to the first question I asked: Who do children belong to? It's a tough question, but important if we are to understand the rest of the questions I asked. Yes, God gave me my children, and they are mine, and no one else's. Scripture clearly places the responsibility for child raising on the parents' shoulders. But as a parent of several children, some of whom are rapidly approaching adulthood, I know that I must be willing to allow someone else to claim ownership over them. The state? The school system? My neighborhood, city or church? No, my children belong to none of those things, although they may be touched or instructed by them. No, they belong to none but God, the one who gave them to me in the first place. You see, just as someday we parents must let our children grow up and leave and make their own way in the world, we must also recognize the Author of their lives, and give them back to Him. Not literally, of course, but allowing God to reign sovereign in their lives; that they are not really mine, but mine for a time, on loan, to protect and love, and point them to their Maker.
If you look at your children as random collections of cells, or as gifts from a fuzzy notion of God or some other Being, then it's easy to allow outside entities lay claim to them, because, just as when someone gives you a gift, you feel no obligation to the giver. But when you look at your kids, and see the image of God stamped all over them, it's a lot harder to just happily allow the community (whatever that means) or the collective (yet another vague term) to arrogate some ownership over or interest in them.
My children are mine, but they are not mine. They are mine for a while, and while they are mine, they are mine. But ultimately, they are God's, and I must treat them as such; since they are not really mine, I, therefore, can't give them away to the state, or my community or any other institution or entity that would undermine parental authority in any way. They are God's, and anyone that says the notion of sole parental authority and responsibility should give way to a belief that children belong to everyone or a collective should be kept away from our kids at all costs. I'm keeping them away from mine.
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