Just Be
One of the things that attracted me to home education, in the early days, was the amount of free, unscheduled time, time which the kids and I could spend with other homeschoolers. And I indulged in that quite a bit. I remember lazy afternoons, sipping tea with a friend, while our kids played, explored, fought, and learned. I had so many encouraging conversations with other moms, and we reveled in our freedom.
But somewhere along the way, I found it harder to find moms who had time for tea, and not because all our kids were older and busier. Even younger moms just starting out on the home education journey were just way too busy to slow down and just be.
All of a sudden, there were homeschool co-ops and clubs, and even schools for homeschoolers (can't quite wrap my brain around that one) popping up everywhere, and almost all of my friends joined something. None of these activities are inherently bad, in fact they can be beneficial, but when my friends did have time to chat (and even then I could tell they were watching the clock) I came away feeling overwhelmed and tired just hearing about their busy lives. I felt dull, inert, slothful. And I felt left out; as if I needed to be involved in myriad activities to even have friends, that being fellow home educators was now not reason enough to be involved in each others' lives.
It came down to this: I just couldn't commit to someone else's idea of what school should be; I was overwhelmed with my commitment to my own kids. I just wanted to be. And that's so hard in this day of instant everything and breakneck speeds, and so many wonderful activities competing for our attention.
Now, before you start to worry about those teenagers of mine, let me assure you they are busy. Jobs, activities, hobbies and friends keep them running here and there, and I am glad for them. The level of engagement has grown naturally, as directed by their interests, or as encouraged by their friends (or even parents!) But they also know that home is a place of rest and peace; yes, even when the baby is screaming and the little ones are bickering or having pillow fights. Home is a place where people aren't too busy to sit and chat and have tea, or play a game, or just be.
Is your home like that? Is it a refuge from the world? Or is it just a pit stop on your way from one activity to the next? Are there enough times when everyone is at the dinner table, or just hanging out together, maybe watching a movie? Or do you have trouble remembering the last time you had a conversation with a family member? Do most of your conversations take place over the steering wheel of the car, or over the kitchen table?
This is not to say that I sit around all day doing nothing. Far from it! I have plenty of laundry, cooking, schooling, parenting, and cleaning (and writing, if I can squeeze it in) to keep me busy. But those can become the focus of my attention too much; they can even become idols. I try not to let all those responsibilities get in my way. The challenge is being busy and being still at the same time; allowing God to still my heart and soul in the midst of my busy home. I'm not bashing those moms (and kids) who are super busy, able to do so many things at once. But I am tempted at times to tell them to take things easy.
You might think that children of such a homebody would be bored. But I do not hear the words "Mom, I'm bored" much; mostly because the kids know as soon as they say that to me, I will find work for them. But I believe boredom is good for a child, forcing them to find something to do. True, it is hard to get bored with so many kids around, but there are many times I find a child, alone, lost in a book or imaginary play, napping, coloring, sewing, or just being.
Mother, slow down, the world will still spin if you and your little ones are not busy. Your children will be gone from under your roof in a heartbeat! When they look back on their childhood, what will they remember? Looking at the back of their mom's head from the back of the car? Their mother rushing around, rushing her children around? Or will they remember life at a slower pace, one that allowed for spontaneity, creativity, even occasional boredom? Will they remember their mom usually nearby while they played, just within earshot and available for dispensing advice or band-aids, ready to listen and laugh, ready to play or pray; just wanting to be?
But somewhere along the way, I found it harder to find moms who had time for tea, and not because all our kids were older and busier. Even younger moms just starting out on the home education journey were just way too busy to slow down and just be.
All of a sudden, there were homeschool co-ops and clubs, and even schools for homeschoolers (can't quite wrap my brain around that one) popping up everywhere, and almost all of my friends joined something. None of these activities are inherently bad, in fact they can be beneficial, but when my friends did have time to chat (and even then I could tell they were watching the clock) I came away feeling overwhelmed and tired just hearing about their busy lives. I felt dull, inert, slothful. And I felt left out; as if I needed to be involved in myriad activities to even have friends, that being fellow home educators was now not reason enough to be involved in each others' lives.
It came down to this: I just couldn't commit to someone else's idea of what school should be; I was overwhelmed with my commitment to my own kids. I just wanted to be. And that's so hard in this day of instant everything and breakneck speeds, and so many wonderful activities competing for our attention.
Now, before you start to worry about those teenagers of mine, let me assure you they are busy. Jobs, activities, hobbies and friends keep them running here and there, and I am glad for them. The level of engagement has grown naturally, as directed by their interests, or as encouraged by their friends (or even parents!) But they also know that home is a place of rest and peace; yes, even when the baby is screaming and the little ones are bickering or having pillow fights. Home is a place where people aren't too busy to sit and chat and have tea, or play a game, or just be.
Is your home like that? Is it a refuge from the world? Or is it just a pit stop on your way from one activity to the next? Are there enough times when everyone is at the dinner table, or just hanging out together, maybe watching a movie? Or do you have trouble remembering the last time you had a conversation with a family member? Do most of your conversations take place over the steering wheel of the car, or over the kitchen table?
This is not to say that I sit around all day doing nothing. Far from it! I have plenty of laundry, cooking, schooling, parenting, and cleaning (and writing, if I can squeeze it in) to keep me busy. But those can become the focus of my attention too much; they can even become idols. I try not to let all those responsibilities get in my way. The challenge is being busy and being still at the same time; allowing God to still my heart and soul in the midst of my busy home. I'm not bashing those moms (and kids) who are super busy, able to do so many things at once. But I am tempted at times to tell them to take things easy.
You might think that children of such a homebody would be bored. But I do not hear the words "Mom, I'm bored" much; mostly because the kids know as soon as they say that to me, I will find work for them. But I believe boredom is good for a child, forcing them to find something to do. True, it is hard to get bored with so many kids around, but there are many times I find a child, alone, lost in a book or imaginary play, napping, coloring, sewing, or just being.
Mother, slow down, the world will still spin if you and your little ones are not busy. Your children will be gone from under your roof in a heartbeat! When they look back on their childhood, what will they remember? Looking at the back of their mom's head from the back of the car? Their mother rushing around, rushing her children around? Or will they remember life at a slower pace, one that allowed for spontaneity, creativity, even occasional boredom? Will they remember their mom usually nearby while they played, just within earshot and available for dispensing advice or band-aids, ready to listen and laugh, ready to play or pray; just wanting to be?
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