Two
I'm on my seventh two year-old and wondering if I will ever experience the Terrible Two's. Books have been written about it and I received many warnings about it when my oldest kids were little. Friends, relatives, even the pediatrician warned me of the impending hell that is living with a two year-old. But since my youngest is nearing 2 1/2 without any sign of turning into a horrible brat, I do wonder. How did I miss out on this rite of passage, this trial by fire that all parents seem to go through? Before you start to pity my plight, I must tell you that my teenagers have certainly made up for any loss of stress on my part when they were two. That was so kind of them.
But it just didn't happen for me. I never once had to take my kids out of a public area because of tantrums or bad behavior. I never once was embarrassed by the actions of my small children in public. The rare tantrums at home were ignored and that was the end of that. This doesn't mean the kids never drive me crazy. It doesn't mean I never shoved them out the door and locked it behind them. It doesn't mean I never picked up a pillow and screamed as loud as I could into it. But I never found myself in the throes of the so-called Terrible Two's, pulling my hair out in frustration, wondering what in the world have I gotten myself into? (That happens when they turn 13).
Two years old is not terrible; it's awesome! A two year-old can talk a mean streak (even if only mom can understand), can dress herself (princess dresses and ballet tutus count), and amuse themselves (sometimes with mom's make-up, sometimes with their own toys). They discover they don't need mom all the time, but that she's there if needed. They discover their world is not as formidable as it once seemed. Mud and rain, ice and snow, flowers and bees; all waiting to be explored! They discover how to navigate their world, figure out how things work, and how to ask for help if they can't navigate or figure.
They are learning that they have to go to bed when mom says it's time, that there are exciting new foods to try, that they have a sense of humor and can make mom laugh out loud. They learn how to play pretend and that mom sometimes joins in on their imaginary play.
Two year-olds are so helpful as well. Every time I had a two year-old around, they wanted to help me in the kitchen and with cleaning, with laundry and shopping. Whenever I was sick and on the couch, they were ready with a snuggle and a pat on the back, and a sopping wet washcloth for my aching head.
If you are hoping for my secret recipe for a joyous two year-old experience, I have to disappoint you. Here are a few tips, but I'm not really sure how I managed to avoid the Terrible Two's altogether. Of course, I tried not to take kids out when they were hungry or tired. And since I don't go out all the time anyway, the kids were so in awe of their new surroundings, they were dumbstruck into good behavior.
But we didn't have the Terrible Two's at home either. Maybe because my husband and I were consistent and firm enough. Maybe because we decided that we weren't going to allow that kind of behavior to begin with. Maybe we got lucky. I don't really know. It's not that my kids are little angels, sitting around the house wearing halos and singing hymns all day. They get into trouble and disobey, they fight and make messes. It's just that I found these things happen all through childhood, and no more than usual at two than at any other age.
None of our kids are special needs kids, none of them had developmental issues, they were all pretty average and "normal." To those parents blessed with kids with special needs, this just doesn't apply to you, and I am not judging your kids. My hat is off to you, you have my admiration, and I have never walked in your shoes, so cut yourself some slack. I'm willing to.
I think the the whole thing is a myth. Sure there is a tremendous amount of change going on inside a two year-old, and some would say this is the cause of the trouble. And while I do agree to an extent, I would say that the cause of misbehavior in a two year-old is the same cause in a kid any age- plain, old fashioned sin. Maybe their sin nature is harder to deal with at age two, or maybe some of the cuteness has worn off a bit and we aren't as tolerant of poor behavior. But for me, it boils down to this: we are all born with a sinful nature; we're prideful, selfish, stubborn, etc. And a parent's job is to guide their children through the two year-old stage, as well as all stages of childhood, teaching them proper behavior, correcting improper behavior, pointing them to the One who can help (both child and parent) survive the whole ordeal.
Terrible Two's? Nah. Parenting is hard enough, and it gets even harder with teens, so why borrow trouble? Tomorrow has enough trouble, so I'm enjoying the two-year old today.
Oh, if they could stay two forever!
But it just didn't happen for me. I never once had to take my kids out of a public area because of tantrums or bad behavior. I never once was embarrassed by the actions of my small children in public. The rare tantrums at home were ignored and that was the end of that. This doesn't mean the kids never drive me crazy. It doesn't mean I never shoved them out the door and locked it behind them. It doesn't mean I never picked up a pillow and screamed as loud as I could into it. But I never found myself in the throes of the so-called Terrible Two's, pulling my hair out in frustration, wondering what in the world have I gotten myself into? (That happens when they turn 13).
Two years old is not terrible; it's awesome! A two year-old can talk a mean streak (even if only mom can understand), can dress herself (princess dresses and ballet tutus count), and amuse themselves (sometimes with mom's make-up, sometimes with their own toys). They discover they don't need mom all the time, but that she's there if needed. They discover their world is not as formidable as it once seemed. Mud and rain, ice and snow, flowers and bees; all waiting to be explored! They discover how to navigate their world, figure out how things work, and how to ask for help if they can't navigate or figure.
They are learning that they have to go to bed when mom says it's time, that there are exciting new foods to try, that they have a sense of humor and can make mom laugh out loud. They learn how to play pretend and that mom sometimes joins in on their imaginary play.
Two year-olds are so helpful as well. Every time I had a two year-old around, they wanted to help me in the kitchen and with cleaning, with laundry and shopping. Whenever I was sick and on the couch, they were ready with a snuggle and a pat on the back, and a sopping wet washcloth for my aching head.
If you are hoping for my secret recipe for a joyous two year-old experience, I have to disappoint you. Here are a few tips, but I'm not really sure how I managed to avoid the Terrible Two's altogether. Of course, I tried not to take kids out when they were hungry or tired. And since I don't go out all the time anyway, the kids were so in awe of their new surroundings, they were dumbstruck into good behavior.
But we didn't have the Terrible Two's at home either. Maybe because my husband and I were consistent and firm enough. Maybe because we decided that we weren't going to allow that kind of behavior to begin with. Maybe we got lucky. I don't really know. It's not that my kids are little angels, sitting around the house wearing halos and singing hymns all day. They get into trouble and disobey, they fight and make messes. It's just that I found these things happen all through childhood, and no more than usual at two than at any other age.
None of our kids are special needs kids, none of them had developmental issues, they were all pretty average and "normal." To those parents blessed with kids with special needs, this just doesn't apply to you, and I am not judging your kids. My hat is off to you, you have my admiration, and I have never walked in your shoes, so cut yourself some slack. I'm willing to.
I think the the whole thing is a myth. Sure there is a tremendous amount of change going on inside a two year-old, and some would say this is the cause of the trouble. And while I do agree to an extent, I would say that the cause of misbehavior in a two year-old is the same cause in a kid any age- plain, old fashioned sin. Maybe their sin nature is harder to deal with at age two, or maybe some of the cuteness has worn off a bit and we aren't as tolerant of poor behavior. But for me, it boils down to this: we are all born with a sinful nature; we're prideful, selfish, stubborn, etc. And a parent's job is to guide their children through the two year-old stage, as well as all stages of childhood, teaching them proper behavior, correcting improper behavior, pointing them to the One who can help (both child and parent) survive the whole ordeal.
Terrible Two's? Nah. Parenting is hard enough, and it gets even harder with teens, so why borrow trouble? Tomorrow has enough trouble, so I'm enjoying the two-year old today.
Oh, if they could stay two forever!
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