Smile
As a mom, I need to react to my children all day. With ages ranging from 1 to 17, they need different things, different parts of me. The baby needs me to hold her and talk to her, the middle kids need me to pay attention to what they are playing or drawing, and the older ones need me to listen to what they are saying, as well as what they aren't saying. They are all so needy! My responses to them vary from laughter to crying and everything in between, and it is so hard for me to have the right response at the right time. But I have discovered something so devilishly simple, yet so very effective, that any mom could use. My secret weapon that works on ALL of them? A smile.
A smile is a powerful tool in a mom's arsenal. Baby needs a new diaper? Smile through the whole change, and by the end, the baby is clean and giggling. I was so busy smiling and laughing with her, I couldn't smell a thing! 4 year-old playing with his toys in a sink full of water? A smile from me tells him that I think he's great. And when it's time for him to clean up, he does it cheerfully. 7 year-old and 9 year-old fighting again? Watch this- I smile as I send them to their rooms and they don't know what hit them. 12 year-old dissolving into a puddle of tears? No problem! I put on a smile and she forgets what it was that was troubling her in the first place. Well, eventually. 16 year-old need help with Chemistry? Ha! Smiling all the way while reading through the lesson with him, he understands it, and I actually enjoy myself. Plus, I think I may have learned something. 17 year-old needs help with Trigonometry? I just whip out a smile and we don't let all that stuff I can't pronounce get us down.
Most of the time, I would rather gag, roll my eyes, grimace in frustration, or worst of all, SIGH. And, while I do not go through the day with a smile plastered on my face, at least not until I've had some coffee, I am finding that smiles are much more effective at smoothing things over- greasing the wheels, so to speak. Smiling is as much a choice as it is a reaction. Smiles are infectious, spreading cheer and feelings of belonging and worth. I smile at my husband when he walks in the door at night, even though I may have had a crummy day, and he feels welcomed, relieved and wanted. And then all the kids are smiling at him. It's such a simple act, and I want to do it more. I smile at one of my kids, even when they are being irritating or too rambunctious, and I watch them blossom and glow. It's hard to think of many instances when something bad happened because I smiled at someone- and they usually smile back!
Sure, there are times when a kids needs a hug or a listening ear, or an understanding heart. And I have to use those as well. There have been many serious conversations with a child pouring their heart out, when I reserve the smiles for the end of the talk. But smiles are medicine, healing and soothing. They are medicine bound by no language or culture, gender or age. It's a kind of medicine that all moms are qualified to practice- no licence required.
A smile is a powerful tool in a mom's arsenal. Baby needs a new diaper? Smile through the whole change, and by the end, the baby is clean and giggling. I was so busy smiling and laughing with her, I couldn't smell a thing! 4 year-old playing with his toys in a sink full of water? A smile from me tells him that I think he's great. And when it's time for him to clean up, he does it cheerfully. 7 year-old and 9 year-old fighting again? Watch this- I smile as I send them to their rooms and they don't know what hit them. 12 year-old dissolving into a puddle of tears? No problem! I put on a smile and she forgets what it was that was troubling her in the first place. Well, eventually. 16 year-old need help with Chemistry? Ha! Smiling all the way while reading through the lesson with him, he understands it, and I actually enjoy myself. Plus, I think I may have learned something. 17 year-old needs help with Trigonometry? I just whip out a smile and we don't let all that stuff I can't pronounce get us down.
Most of the time, I would rather gag, roll my eyes, grimace in frustration, or worst of all, SIGH. And, while I do not go through the day with a smile plastered on my face, at least not until I've had some coffee, I am finding that smiles are much more effective at smoothing things over- greasing the wheels, so to speak. Smiling is as much a choice as it is a reaction. Smiles are infectious, spreading cheer and feelings of belonging and worth. I smile at my husband when he walks in the door at night, even though I may have had a crummy day, and he feels welcomed, relieved and wanted. And then all the kids are smiling at him. It's such a simple act, and I want to do it more. I smile at one of my kids, even when they are being irritating or too rambunctious, and I watch them blossom and glow. It's hard to think of many instances when something bad happened because I smiled at someone- and they usually smile back!
Sure, there are times when a kids needs a hug or a listening ear, or an understanding heart. And I have to use those as well. There have been many serious conversations with a child pouring their heart out, when I reserve the smiles for the end of the talk. But smiles are medicine, healing and soothing. They are medicine bound by no language or culture, gender or age. It's a kind of medicine that all moms are qualified to practice- no licence required.
And you have a beautiful smile, Katie.
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