It's Raining

I'm sitting near the Christmas tree, and the rest of the house is asleep and only the lights on the tree bathe the room. The rain is pouring, pouring in torrents. It's almost Christmas and the rain keeps coming and I think on how God has poured out blessing and mercy on me even when I didn't notice. Poured it on whether I deserved it or not, whether I thanked Him or not. The blessings keep coming even when all I see is trial and tedium and more work than I can ever tackle. Days when all I see are children misbehaving and fighting and crying and struggling to make the right choices. Days when I want to cry at the sight of 5 loads of laundry and a messy house and dinner to fix and sick children to care for. But now, it's almost midnight, and it's pouring rain and I remember a toddler climbing into my lap and telling me she loves me, a teenager mentioning that he had an opportunity to pray with his teammates before a swim meet, a young woman coming home from Christmas shopping for all her siblings. I can recall another child fixing lunch for her younger brothers and sisters even though she is sick, a 5 year old seeking me out just to give me hug, an 8 year old wanting to just be with me, a son offering to help his baby sister so that his dad can finish talking to me. A husband who has made breakfast for a week because I had a bad cold. A neighbor who invited me out for an evening of music. I don't deserve it, didn't expect it, and should have paid more attention. And there will be more, in the midst of the busyness of my life, in the midst of my frustrations and weakness, because that's the kind of God He is. He's like a torrent of rain, never stopping to rest, pouring out His love and mercy and grace.  Pour it on, God; and may I notice not only late at night, but in the moment. May I pay more attention to Him than to myself. May I feel Him rain when I am parched. May I feel Him reign. It's midnight and still raining.