A Word to the Homeschool Dad
Now a word (or two) to the dads.
You and your wife have decided to live counter-culturally, and educate your kids at home. And if you are the main breadwinner, your financial provision is most important and appreciated. But there is more for you to do. Dad, you are a vital part of this venture, or adventure.
Your wife has undertaken a another burden: in addition to the house work, discipline, errands and cooking, now she is in charge of seeing to the children's education. This is not an easy task, even if she makes it look easy. Whatever you can do to help her, do it willingly and cheerfully. The two of you need to work this out yourselves, but mom, you must communicate clearly to your husband how he can help you. My husband helps me greatly because I made clear the things I wanted or needed him to do.
Dad, your encouragement and support are vital. Ask your wife how her day was, what the kids learned, were they good students, and does she feel she got enough done today.
Offer to pick up take-out for dinner once in a while or cook dinner. Take her out to eat or somewhere where the two of you can talk; she needs to talk to another adult.
Encourage her to meet with a friend for coffee for support and as a way to exchange ideas, successes and failures with another home educator. Suggest a get together with other homeschooling families for fellowship and fun, and then help her make it happen.
If money allows, help her find things that she can do on her own, for her own growth or enjoyment or health.
She is going to have days when the baby is sick and needed her, and the kids were fighting and making messes, the teenager needed her for Algebra, and she couldn't get to the mountain of laundry. So if you find you are out of socks or underwear, just throw a load of wash in without saying anything to her. Likewise, if you can't see the living room rug because of the clutter and dirt, vacuum it or direct one of the children to do so.
In fact, it would be nice if you teach the kids how to operate the appliances and to clean up the kitchen. 10 minutes spent teaching the kids something could save, over time, hours for your wife.
Does she come and help you at the office? Not usually, so you may feel it is unfair for you to start helping more around the house and maybe with school. But your job has remained unchanged, while hers has changed. You are partners in this parenting/home education thing, and you have to be as committed as she is.
She is going to take most of the heat over this decision of yours from family or neighbors or friends, and even the folks at church. Oh yes, it will come; maybe not overtly or aggressively, but there will be people who disagree with or question your resolve to home educate. When at all possible, come to her defense. When the kids are little, the proof that you know what you are doing and that your kids will be alright is not very apparent to those well-meaning outsiders. Once the kids are older and holding down jobs, doing well in college or a career, you will find that these nay-sayers have largely clammed up. Until then, be aware of the subtle and not so subtle criticism your wife may experience.
Dad, your wife needs to hear you say that you appreciate all she is doing, say it in front of the kids; in short, be her biggest cheerleader, and never let her wonder if you are really behind her and her efforts. I have been very fortunate that my husband has always supported me and believed in me, even when I mess up, and I mess up often. It just wouldn't have worked without him, and I would have given up long ago.
And most importantly, pray for and with your wife. If you prayed for her while you were at work, let her know. Ask her how you can pray for her, rejoice with her over answered prayer, condole with her over prayers that seem unanswered. Pray for your marriage, that it will remain strong while raising and educating children, and pray for wisdom and courage.
"Whoever fears the Lord has a secure fortress, and for their children it will be a refuge."
Proverbs 14:26
You and your wife have decided to live counter-culturally, and educate your kids at home. And if you are the main breadwinner, your financial provision is most important and appreciated. But there is more for you to do. Dad, you are a vital part of this venture, or adventure.
Your wife has undertaken a another burden: in addition to the house work, discipline, errands and cooking, now she is in charge of seeing to the children's education. This is not an easy task, even if she makes it look easy. Whatever you can do to help her, do it willingly and cheerfully. The two of you need to work this out yourselves, but mom, you must communicate clearly to your husband how he can help you. My husband helps me greatly because I made clear the things I wanted or needed him to do.
Dad, your encouragement and support are vital. Ask your wife how her day was, what the kids learned, were they good students, and does she feel she got enough done today.
Offer to pick up take-out for dinner once in a while or cook dinner. Take her out to eat or somewhere where the two of you can talk; she needs to talk to another adult.
Encourage her to meet with a friend for coffee for support and as a way to exchange ideas, successes and failures with another home educator. Suggest a get together with other homeschooling families for fellowship and fun, and then help her make it happen.
If money allows, help her find things that she can do on her own, for her own growth or enjoyment or health.
She is going to have days when the baby is sick and needed her, and the kids were fighting and making messes, the teenager needed her for Algebra, and she couldn't get to the mountain of laundry. So if you find you are out of socks or underwear, just throw a load of wash in without saying anything to her. Likewise, if you can't see the living room rug because of the clutter and dirt, vacuum it or direct one of the children to do so.
In fact, it would be nice if you teach the kids how to operate the appliances and to clean up the kitchen. 10 minutes spent teaching the kids something could save, over time, hours for your wife.
Does she come and help you at the office? Not usually, so you may feel it is unfair for you to start helping more around the house and maybe with school. But your job has remained unchanged, while hers has changed. You are partners in this parenting/home education thing, and you have to be as committed as she is.
She is going to take most of the heat over this decision of yours from family or neighbors or friends, and even the folks at church. Oh yes, it will come; maybe not overtly or aggressively, but there will be people who disagree with or question your resolve to home educate. When at all possible, come to her defense. When the kids are little, the proof that you know what you are doing and that your kids will be alright is not very apparent to those well-meaning outsiders. Once the kids are older and holding down jobs, doing well in college or a career, you will find that these nay-sayers have largely clammed up. Until then, be aware of the subtle and not so subtle criticism your wife may experience.
Dad, your wife needs to hear you say that you appreciate all she is doing, say it in front of the kids; in short, be her biggest cheerleader, and never let her wonder if you are really behind her and her efforts. I have been very fortunate that my husband has always supported me and believed in me, even when I mess up, and I mess up often. It just wouldn't have worked without him, and I would have given up long ago.
And most importantly, pray for and with your wife. If you prayed for her while you were at work, let her know. Ask her how you can pray for her, rejoice with her over answered prayer, condole with her over prayers that seem unanswered. Pray for your marriage, that it will remain strong while raising and educating children, and pray for wisdom and courage.
"Whoever fears the Lord has a secure fortress, and for their children it will be a refuge."
Proverbs 14:26
Comments
Post a Comment