Toys
A few weeks ago, I read a blog about a woman who took all her kids' toys away. It's an interesting essay, and it got me to thinking about all the stuff my kids have. I, too, was tired of telling the kids to clean up their toys several times a day, and it was clearly too big of a job for them. I was tired of seeing messes wherever I went and of stepping on small toys and of wading through them to get to the laundry room.
The author didn't mention it, so I am unsure what to think, but she never tells how she got rid of her own stuff before getting rid of her kids' things. How she critically eyed her closet and dresser, her garage and storage and kitchen and then purged; she just mentions that she is trying to keep things to a minimum for the family. I just wished she had gone into detail about simplifying her own stuff first, or referred the reader to a post where she does describe that. In either case, I am not going to judge her motivations for clearing out her kids' things or her lifestyle, and if you are interested, you can poke around her blog to find out more about her- she seems to be a woman of faith with a story to tell.
As for me, I readily admit I am a purger. I am always looking through my stuff to see what unnecessary items I own that someone else could use. Stuff that's just taking up space, has to be cleaned, has to be moved to clean under it; stuff that weighs me down. I have been known to be pretty severe with my possessions and have even given away things that I like and use, but felt I really didn't need.
I have tried to keep the children's possessions to a minimum too, but with 7 kids, it is a challenge. Yet, I had never gone to the extreme of getting rid of everything (although I had been tempted after hurting myself on their toys for the umpteenth time). I gave the article a lot of thought and decided to try it, but with my own modifications. For instance, the article mentioned that the family lives in a WARM climate where children can be outside a lot, so I had to take our long winters into consideration. Also, I have a lot more kids of both genders (she has two girls) so that means more interests and tastes to take into account.
I talked it over with the kids first to tell them the plan: we will give away a pile of toys, and we will pack up the rest to put into storage, leaving out one box of toys to be available. At first, they were a bit teary, but soon were helping me organize all the toys in their room and in the playroom, which took a couple of days. Then we decided what was going and what was staying. (OK, I did most of the deciding). We picked toys that were versatile and encouraged creativity, but I also allowed a few items to stay that were among their favorites. They didn't have a crazy amount of toys to begin with, considering there are 4 of them, but about half of their stuff left the house (Hurray!) We packed up the rest and left out the Legos for a time, knowing that at a later date, the Legos would be put away and another toy would come out of storage.
Here are my observations after about a month.
*Their room is clean most of the time, and when it isn't, they can clean it up in no time, since they aren't burdened with hundreds of pieces of toys to put away. They have more space in their closet and room to play pretend games, or to play with one of the two toys left in that room- baby dolls and horses.
*The playroom, as well, is easier to clean, since the only toy out (such as Legos, or the current toy, animals) all goes into one box. Dress up is always available and that all goes into its own box as well, and they have been using that toy more extensively.
*Which brings me to how they are playing: their pretend games are becoming more elaborate, take up more time, and use the few items available in very creative ways. There are more forts being built inside the house, and now that the weather is starting to allow it, I have found some interesting set-ups outside.
*Which then brings me to what they are playing: more Chess (even the 5 year old can play a mean game) and Pente and Stratego, cards and Uno and hide and seek. They are putting together puzzles, playing around on the piano, and drawing more. They are reading more. They are having conversations. They are playing together more, and now that they are out from under the burden of too much stuff, they are enjoying what little they do have all the more.
*Many times I would see a bored child sitting in the middle of piles of toys. Bored! Not anymore. They actually seem to have more to do, as the author of the article found. They are noticing their surroundings more since they aren't distracted by too much stuff. At this writing, the 2 year old is figuring out the lock on the sliding door, the 5 year old (who seems to know how to change the weather information on my phone to a city other than ours) is making paper airplanes, the 8 year old (who has discovered all the tiny weed flowers in the yard and has placed arrangements of them all over the house) is reading a book, and the 11 year old (who likes to read the Wall Street Journal) is glued to the window and watching the neighbor's large tree being cut down. Yesterday morning, over their breakfast (that they made themselves), the 17 and 11 year olds played Chess.
*Unlike in the article, my kids still fight. So if, after reading this and thinking your kids will have nothing to fight over, think again. Kids are sinful just like adults, and they will always find something to fight over. However, I am hearing more uproarious laughter; it's as if they have discovered their sense of humor and are exploiting it. So that balances out the fighting, I suppose.
As I mentioned, I modified this exercise a bit by keeping more toys than the author did to store them. Recently, when I sensed the allure of the Legos was wearing off (it lasted 3 weeks!) I asked them what box of toys they wanted to play with and they voted for the box of plastic animals and cave men. They happily gathered up stray Legos and put them away and put them into storage and have been contentedly playing with the new toy. I think I will leave it out until their interest wanes and then suggest a new one. The other modification is I left the teenagers' stuff alone and concentrated on my 4 younger kids; the author only has two young children, making her experiment a bit easier since all of her kids were included.
Not once has anyone complained or wished aloud for a toy that's gone or has been at a loss for something to do. In fact they seem almost relieved. I know that I always feel so much better when I get rid of a bunch of my own stuff, and I think they feel it too. We live in a culture where we are overloaded with too much of everything. Most of the items in my house were purchased at a thrift store or trash-picked or given to us. It's not like you have to have a lot of money tied up in your possessions; you don't have to spend a lot of your income in order to have too much; that's how overburdened we are! It's very hard to live a minimalist existence in this land of plenty; I am constantly getting rid of stuff.
As for birthdays and Christmas, I will have to rethink my gift-giving strategy, looking for fewer but more meaningful or useful items. Maybe more clothes and books than toys that will break easily or be forgotten too soon. Consumable items such as food, movie tickets or gift certificates are also popular gifts here, and they only take up space for a short time.
The author of the article took a lot of heat for what she did, and I suspect it was from folks who have a hard time letting go of stuff, are disorganized and resent people who are, or who may even be hoarders. Maybe they are afraid of what might happen if they suddenly got rid of a large portion of their own things, because there is some amount of comfort in owning them. In any case, I found it unnecessary to criticize her; she was just sharing something that she did, not preaching a new homemaking gospel.
I think the crux of the experiment (at least for me) was: what place does stuff have in my life? Is my stuff more important than people, relationships, God? And if I am hanging onto stuff I really don't need (but think I do, or might need) is it because I am not clinging to God enough? How does having too much affect my faith and trust in God, from whom all blessing flow? How will I know?
{One big exception, and again it's because I have a large family, is that I kept clothes and stored them for the next child who came along. It was an organizational challenge for me, but has saved me tons of money and time over the years. For years, some friends and I loaned each other clothes and passed them around as each one of us needed them. Now that I am done having kids (I guess!) I am giving away the clothes of my two youngest, a boy and a girl, to friends or charity. In addition, I have kept the crib, high chair, and a couple of other furniture items so that I can loan them to new moms. They spend a good deal of time in other people's houses, and I do hope to use them someday for grandchildren.}
For me, purging is motivated a few things: by a need to give away things that give me comfort or convenience, thus putting myself out of my comfort zone, and forcing me to trust God more; by a need to be able to move about my home freely and unencumbered by disorder and chaos; and a desire to bless others with my possessions. Certainly we can own a lot of stuff and have a close, healthy relationship with God, but Scripture does tell us that it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God. I don't think that it means only those who are rich in money, but includes those who are rich in stuff. I am not wealthy in money but I am wealthy in stuff, burdened by it; sometimes suffocated by it, and that is why I like to clear the clutter from my house. In doing so, I clear the clutter from my mind and heart.
Less is more in so many ways.
The author didn't mention it, so I am unsure what to think, but she never tells how she got rid of her own stuff before getting rid of her kids' things. How she critically eyed her closet and dresser, her garage and storage and kitchen and then purged; she just mentions that she is trying to keep things to a minimum for the family. I just wished she had gone into detail about simplifying her own stuff first, or referred the reader to a post where she does describe that. In either case, I am not going to judge her motivations for clearing out her kids' things or her lifestyle, and if you are interested, you can poke around her blog to find out more about her- she seems to be a woman of faith with a story to tell.
As for me, I readily admit I am a purger. I am always looking through my stuff to see what unnecessary items I own that someone else could use. Stuff that's just taking up space, has to be cleaned, has to be moved to clean under it; stuff that weighs me down. I have been known to be pretty severe with my possessions and have even given away things that I like and use, but felt I really didn't need.
I have tried to keep the children's possessions to a minimum too, but with 7 kids, it is a challenge. Yet, I had never gone to the extreme of getting rid of everything (although I had been tempted after hurting myself on their toys for the umpteenth time). I gave the article a lot of thought and decided to try it, but with my own modifications. For instance, the article mentioned that the family lives in a WARM climate where children can be outside a lot, so I had to take our long winters into consideration. Also, I have a lot more kids of both genders (she has two girls) so that means more interests and tastes to take into account.
I talked it over with the kids first to tell them the plan: we will give away a pile of toys, and we will pack up the rest to put into storage, leaving out one box of toys to be available. At first, they were a bit teary, but soon were helping me organize all the toys in their room and in the playroom, which took a couple of days. Then we decided what was going and what was staying. (OK, I did most of the deciding). We picked toys that were versatile and encouraged creativity, but I also allowed a few items to stay that were among their favorites. They didn't have a crazy amount of toys to begin with, considering there are 4 of them, but about half of their stuff left the house (Hurray!) We packed up the rest and left out the Legos for a time, knowing that at a later date, the Legos would be put away and another toy would come out of storage.
Here are my observations after about a month.
*Their room is clean most of the time, and when it isn't, they can clean it up in no time, since they aren't burdened with hundreds of pieces of toys to put away. They have more space in their closet and room to play pretend games, or to play with one of the two toys left in that room- baby dolls and horses.
*The playroom, as well, is easier to clean, since the only toy out (such as Legos, or the current toy, animals) all goes into one box. Dress up is always available and that all goes into its own box as well, and they have been using that toy more extensively.
*Which brings me to how they are playing: their pretend games are becoming more elaborate, take up more time, and use the few items available in very creative ways. There are more forts being built inside the house, and now that the weather is starting to allow it, I have found some interesting set-ups outside.
*Which then brings me to what they are playing: more Chess (even the 5 year old can play a mean game) and Pente and Stratego, cards and Uno and hide and seek. They are putting together puzzles, playing around on the piano, and drawing more. They are reading more. They are having conversations. They are playing together more, and now that they are out from under the burden of too much stuff, they are enjoying what little they do have all the more.
*Many times I would see a bored child sitting in the middle of piles of toys. Bored! Not anymore. They actually seem to have more to do, as the author of the article found. They are noticing their surroundings more since they aren't distracted by too much stuff. At this writing, the 2 year old is figuring out the lock on the sliding door, the 5 year old (who seems to know how to change the weather information on my phone to a city other than ours) is making paper airplanes, the 8 year old (who has discovered all the tiny weed flowers in the yard and has placed arrangements of them all over the house) is reading a book, and the 11 year old (who likes to read the Wall Street Journal) is glued to the window and watching the neighbor's large tree being cut down. Yesterday morning, over their breakfast (that they made themselves), the 17 and 11 year olds played Chess.
*Unlike in the article, my kids still fight. So if, after reading this and thinking your kids will have nothing to fight over, think again. Kids are sinful just like adults, and they will always find something to fight over. However, I am hearing more uproarious laughter; it's as if they have discovered their sense of humor and are exploiting it. So that balances out the fighting, I suppose.
As I mentioned, I modified this exercise a bit by keeping more toys than the author did to store them. Recently, when I sensed the allure of the Legos was wearing off (it lasted 3 weeks!) I asked them what box of toys they wanted to play with and they voted for the box of plastic animals and cave men. They happily gathered up stray Legos and put them away and put them into storage and have been contentedly playing with the new toy. I think I will leave it out until their interest wanes and then suggest a new one. The other modification is I left the teenagers' stuff alone and concentrated on my 4 younger kids; the author only has two young children, making her experiment a bit easier since all of her kids were included.
Not once has anyone complained or wished aloud for a toy that's gone or has been at a loss for something to do. In fact they seem almost relieved. I know that I always feel so much better when I get rid of a bunch of my own stuff, and I think they feel it too. We live in a culture where we are overloaded with too much of everything. Most of the items in my house were purchased at a thrift store or trash-picked or given to us. It's not like you have to have a lot of money tied up in your possessions; you don't have to spend a lot of your income in order to have too much; that's how overburdened we are! It's very hard to live a minimalist existence in this land of plenty; I am constantly getting rid of stuff.
As for birthdays and Christmas, I will have to rethink my gift-giving strategy, looking for fewer but more meaningful or useful items. Maybe more clothes and books than toys that will break easily or be forgotten too soon. Consumable items such as food, movie tickets or gift certificates are also popular gifts here, and they only take up space for a short time.
The author of the article took a lot of heat for what she did, and I suspect it was from folks who have a hard time letting go of stuff, are disorganized and resent people who are, or who may even be hoarders. Maybe they are afraid of what might happen if they suddenly got rid of a large portion of their own things, because there is some amount of comfort in owning them. In any case, I found it unnecessary to criticize her; she was just sharing something that she did, not preaching a new homemaking gospel.
I think the crux of the experiment (at least for me) was: what place does stuff have in my life? Is my stuff more important than people, relationships, God? And if I am hanging onto stuff I really don't need (but think I do, or might need) is it because I am not clinging to God enough? How does having too much affect my faith and trust in God, from whom all blessing flow? How will I know?
{One big exception, and again it's because I have a large family, is that I kept clothes and stored them for the next child who came along. It was an organizational challenge for me, but has saved me tons of money and time over the years. For years, some friends and I loaned each other clothes and passed them around as each one of us needed them. Now that I am done having kids (I guess!) I am giving away the clothes of my two youngest, a boy and a girl, to friends or charity. In addition, I have kept the crib, high chair, and a couple of other furniture items so that I can loan them to new moms. They spend a good deal of time in other people's houses, and I do hope to use them someday for grandchildren.}
For me, purging is motivated a few things: by a need to give away things that give me comfort or convenience, thus putting myself out of my comfort zone, and forcing me to trust God more; by a need to be able to move about my home freely and unencumbered by disorder and chaos; and a desire to bless others with my possessions. Certainly we can own a lot of stuff and have a close, healthy relationship with God, but Scripture does tell us that it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God. I don't think that it means only those who are rich in money, but includes those who are rich in stuff. I am not wealthy in money but I am wealthy in stuff, burdened by it; sometimes suffocated by it, and that is why I like to clear the clutter from my house. In doing so, I clear the clutter from my mind and heart.
Less is more in so many ways.
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