The Sweet Spot
I've hit the sweet spot, I think. Lately I have noticed that I have more time and energy. I wondered about it for a while, thinking that maybe there was something I should be doing and forgot (I am getting older and forgetful, you know). I realized that for the first time in 19 years, I am not pregnant (one out of 8 pregnancies was tolerable) or nursing (it was a joy, but exhausting), or changing diapers and trying to keep up with a toddler.
But more than that, while I do have teenagers that are going through the usual growing pains (and it can be painful) I have sweet little ones. During a typical day, I am snuggling the 2 and 5 year-olds, reading stories, teaching the 8 and 11 year-olds, witnessing the drama in the 14 year-old's life, talking late into the night with the 17 and 18 year-olds. Playing and laughing, discovering the wonder of the world around us, learning how to calm turbulent emotions, struggling with life's big questions; it's all going on under one roof. Having to make decisions and incurring the displeasure of teens; having the devotion of the 2 year-old. There are days of tears, joy, triumph and failure. Frustration, elation, goals met and missed. Algebra and Physics, counting to 10 and singing the alphabet song. Learning to speak in complete sentences and how to read; learning to think through issues and challenges and how to push past the comfort zone to discover someone you didn't know was there.
It's all happening at once and I know I have a few more years of this, but they will pass all too quickly. Soon they will all be older and needing less of being near me and more of me being available to just listen. Soon enough they will all be too big to snuggle in a chair under a blanket with a pile of books. But for now, the needs run the gamut, I am (trying to be) all things to all people, stretched in all directions. Some would think this to be exhausting (sometimes it is) and too stressful (there are days...) or too time consuming (well, what else would I be doing?). Some would be anxious to move on and hurry those younger kids to grow up, thinking of all the freedom grown children can bring. But I'm thinking that this is a pretty good place to be; I feel I have arrived; I'm in the sweet spot.
But more than that, while I do have teenagers that are going through the usual growing pains (and it can be painful) I have sweet little ones. During a typical day, I am snuggling the 2 and 5 year-olds, reading stories, teaching the 8 and 11 year-olds, witnessing the drama in the 14 year-old's life, talking late into the night with the 17 and 18 year-olds. Playing and laughing, discovering the wonder of the world around us, learning how to calm turbulent emotions, struggling with life's big questions; it's all going on under one roof. Having to make decisions and incurring the displeasure of teens; having the devotion of the 2 year-old. There are days of tears, joy, triumph and failure. Frustration, elation, goals met and missed. Algebra and Physics, counting to 10 and singing the alphabet song. Learning to speak in complete sentences and how to read; learning to think through issues and challenges and how to push past the comfort zone to discover someone you didn't know was there.
It's all happening at once and I know I have a few more years of this, but they will pass all too quickly. Soon they will all be older and needing less of being near me and more of me being available to just listen. Soon enough they will all be too big to snuggle in a chair under a blanket with a pile of books. But for now, the needs run the gamut, I am (trying to be) all things to all people, stretched in all directions. Some would think this to be exhausting (sometimes it is) and too stressful (there are days...) or too time consuming (well, what else would I be doing?). Some would be anxious to move on and hurry those younger kids to grow up, thinking of all the freedom grown children can bring. But I'm thinking that this is a pretty good place to be; I feel I have arrived; I'm in the sweet spot.
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